Jacob turns 2

My baby is no longer a baby and with that comes both sad and exciting emotions. The sad is that I will no never have a baby who lets me hold him and rock him and love him just because I want to. The happy is the joy I get while watching him grow and develop and learn and become an amazing little boy I love to have around.

He loves to talk to all of us and is constantly telling us stories. Usually we only understand every third word or he do understand all the words they just don't really make sense when put together. He loves Toy Story so much and is constantly telling us, "Buzz, Woody, Jesse, Rex, etc." He loves to sleep with his toys and sometimes it gets a little out of hand. We know only let him take 1 or 2 and he does not always like this new rule.

He loves to run and run he does. If we are outside he will just take off and say, "Run, run." As he takes off without every looking back. He loves it so much he will even do it at church. Ryan sits up on the stand and Jacob wants to sit with him. Usually this ends up with Jacob screaming and me having to leave the chapel. Today he was standing right next to me playing nicely with a little girl who was sitting by us. He looked at me with a smile then bolted. I was not about to run down the aisle in my heels so once I realized how was out of reach I let him go to his dad. What are you gonna. do. It made me laugh as well as most of the people sitting around me. Eventually he got bored and walked back to me. Funny kid!

He also guns, balls, the trampoline, and Betty. He makes a wonderful bang bang sound, throws the ball a little to hard, would jump all day long, and pets, pokes, and feeds Betty often. They act like siblings to each other.

When we drive by Grandma's house he cries if we don't stop.

He asks for hugz when he wants to be picked up. He does love his snuggles still and this I love as well.

Jacob likes to kiss my nose and poke everyone eyes as he says, "eyes."

He really is very loving and playful and we all thank Heavenly Father often for this sweet boy who brings our family together in laughter and joy.

He was so cute when he opened his presents. He would show them to me and wait for me to take a picture of it then he wanted me to show him that picture. When I would forget to take a picture he would remind me.
I have several more pictures like these.

We got him new bedding and he was very excited about it. Sarah put it all together for him then put him in bed with his toys. He played for a while then laid down like he was going to take a nap. Sarah and I laughed.

Here is his birthday stash.This is my most favorite cake I have ever made. It was fairly easy but very rewarding and I didn't want the kids to eat it. I loved looking at it.

Once he blew out his candles he passed out the marshmallows to everyone.
Happy Birthday Jacob Hyrum. I can't wait to spend this next year with you! I love you!!

New Year!!

2010 favorite moments-
New more roomy house
Betty joined our family
Enjoyed vacations as a family and as a couple. Big Bear, San Fransisco, Disneyland, Vegas, Huntington Beach
Running 14 miles up the PCH.
Learning about the Power of Moms and Mind Organization for Moms.
Jared received the priesthood.
Sarah gets high honors at school.
Emma's fun b-day party.
Joseph learned how to read well! He is now over the 200 word club at school.
No major hospital visits for Joshua.
Jacob became our happy little boy and left baby behind (even if we do still call him baby.)
Ryan getting to spend more quality time with us.


I have decided that for this year I am going to do my goals a little bit differently. Instead of writing down all the things I want to do or become I am picking one main thing to work on and then I am writing out all the ways I can accomplish it.

A few weeks ago when I was feeling rather negative and very stressed out through the council of my husband I received the answer that I was to simplify. I have been thinking about that ever since and trying to figure out what that really means for me. So with that in mind I have decided that for 2011 I am going to focus all my efforts on Simplicity!

I am going to first and foremost devote more time to the Lord by reading my scriptures and kneeling in personal prayer every day. Not just casual study and casual prayer but the kind of study and discuss with my Father that I get to know both my Heavenly Father and Savior in a much more real and intimate way. I will have more time to do this because I will spend less time doing things that don't really matter. (like redecorating my house, shopping, lack of a good schedule)

Which brings me to number two. I will come up with a two week menu for all meals. I will then shop on line by week and have those shopping lists saved that I order every monday night. This will save on time and energy (I will know what is for dinner, I won't have to run out to the store for the one item I am lacking which will also save me money, I will be home with the kids at dinner time not running around worrying about dinner, kids will have lunch food-always, milk won't run out, I will be much more relaxed at dinner time and my kids will enjoy time cooking with me in the kitchen)

Third on my list will be to come up with a cleaning schedule. This will include displaying the laundry schedule I have created that works wonders when I use it. This is to be something very rough and not to be stressful. Just a basic every day schedule of things like when I will pick up the kitchen and when I will make my bed. I want ot have a set schedule for every day so that Josh and Jacob know what to expect.

This leads me into the fourth item. Create a daily schedule that includes more play time with the kids and more play time with the boys during the day. The idea for me is to be home more and more available for every day enjoyment with the little ones.

Fifth is to teach Joshua how to read. He loves writing his letters and asks me how to spell everything. He is ready and excited. I am ready. This is his year.

Sixth is potty train Jacob. I recognize this does not sound like it goes with simplifying but it really does. Once he is potty trained I will never have to buy diapers for my children again. This has been 12-13 years coming and I am excited to simplify in this way.

Seventh is to spend even more quality time with Ryan. With our busy schedule sometimes we don't get enough good time together. By letting using my time more wisely I will now have more time in the evenings to just enjoy him.

Eight figure out how to simplify the kids job charts. I am not sure yet if that means keeping it the same with a few modifications or a whole new redo. I think modifications would be the best.

Ninth I will schedule the year with everything that I can. Including time for special day long dates with Ryan, birthday parties, anniversary, weekly date night with kids, basketball, piano etc. I want everything on there. That way I will always know what is going on and when I really do have extra time.

Tenth will be to come up with a Family home evening schedule for the year. A rotation of who will teach, offer prayer, snack, etc.

And eleventh I will be VERY selective about adding anything extra to my list.

All of this will be a tool to help me be home enjoying my family more. So that when I am home I am not stressed or feeling anxiety. This way I will be able to be more emotionally available for my kids.

Growing up I never loved my name. I always thought it was boring and I dreamed of something more exotic or more beautiful sounding. This last week I got to think about the importance of a name and that I was sure my name meant more then I had previously given it credit for. So I decided to Google it (Google answers all of our questions right?) What I found was that my name meant to be joyful, bright, or cheerful. At first I didn't think much of it. But as it sat in my brain a thought formed. I believe that I was sent here on this earth to do just that. To find the joyful, the bright, and the cheerful. That when I don't feel it I am to seek it out and let it fill my surroundings.. That as I learn to do this more fully I will more completely fulfill my mission here on earth. So that is why I want to simplify... so that I may have an open heart and mind to fill my life with more joy, brightness, and cheer.

I am so excited about this next year. I am optimistic it will exceed my hopes and expectations. Here is to looking forward!!!

I'm dreaming of a white Christmas!

It came a little late but we sure did enjoy it. A few of the kids asked for snow for Christmas. So Ryan and I decided to rent a cabin and let them enjoy time in the snow. This place was so perfect for us. 2 bedrooms plus a loft that held a bunk bed and a twin. It snowed the night we got there and the entire next day. So wonderful! The best part was the back yard. It was huge and had a big slope. The kids could sled in our back yard! This proved to be more useful then I could have imagined.

A couple days before Christmas I got sick. I by the time of our vacation I still was not doing any better. With the amazing yard I was able to stay inside most of the time (Joseph also got sick the morning after we got there.) When the kids got cold they would take off their wet clothes and let them dry in front of the dryer. Then when they were ready they would head out again. It really was so great to watch them!

Once we got to the cabin we didn't leave until it was time to go. We made all of our meals there. We entertained ourselves there. It was great. Dinner tasted better there. I made dinner the first night and Ryan the second. He made hamburgers for him and the kids and lobster for me. It was so good. The best lobster I have ever had! We played lots of board games and even enjoyed a talent show. It was one of my favorite vacations!




Talent show pictures.




The only sad part was coming home.

Some days just feel hard- update

And some weeks or months or maybe just some seasons feel harder then others. I feel in a funk and I am not sure how to get out of it. I feel as though I am in a constant state of agitation. My kids fight, my house gets messy, these are not new things but I don't feel like I am handling Motherhood the way I always envisioned I would. I have moments of greatness so to speak. The times I just feel like I handled a contentious situation just right or we have an amazing discussion. Or even we simply enjoyed just playing together.

But right now I feel like those moments are not often enough. When the kids are all home we have homework, then basketball or music, then mutual and more Basketball. Dinner together then family clean up time. Prayers and the bed time routine. I feel "on" all the time. I find myself sitting at the table, my body is there but my mind is in denial of all I have to do and be and I just can't handle the pressure. There is no real vacation for this kind of job. When I am away from them I worry about them. I ponder on how I can be better. Yet I constantly fall short. Is that just part of motherhood? Will I ever feel like I've got this thing down?

How do I get out of my mind long enough to enjoy my kids and my life more fully? Maybe it is the simple truth that I am in charge of 6 children 24-7. Worrying about them growing older. Wondering how they will turn out. How long will they hate me for? How do I deal with pre-teenagers and then real teenagers? I already get back talk and attitude from Jared and Sarah. How am I supposed to handle it as they get older?

Sarah made some comment today to me how I have 6 kids so I should have it all figured out by now but sometimes I feel more clueless then I did with one. At least then I don't think I had a clue of all that I could do wrong.

Wow this post sounds so depressing. I guess I just need to figure some things out. I do have hope that I will. Sometimes I just wish I didn't have to do so much learning and growing. I wish I could just be the person I want to be.

-----------------------Update-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

After I wrote this post I went here and read this article. I then felt the quiet whisperings of my Father above. During church today I was reminded of something the youth had been asked to do, but I had yet to experience. They were admonished to pray vocally on their knees for 30 minutes. If ever I needed this experience it was now. I could feel my Father nudge me forward and so I locked my self in the closet and turned out the lights. What then inspired was a tender moment for me I shall not soon forget. I felt a deep connection to my Father and to my Savior. I felt the need for them and the peace that came from letting them in. I poured my whole soul out and in return allowed space for peace. Unexpected answers came and I feel like they have been coming all day.

Basically, it's ok to fail and it's ok to try again. It's OK for me to redefine what the best kind of a mother is for me and for my children. I now see how much I need my Savior in this journey of motherhood as I can not do it on my own. Why do I forget this? And what can I do to remember it more fully besides tattooing it on my brain? The answer was so simple I had forgotten it. Conversing daily, truly discussing my family and my life with my Eternal Father. Seeking his advice and guidance and then going to the scriptures to hear his answers.

How glorious is the light of a brand new day with new insight and new direction.

Art Gallery Party

I had so much fun planning Emma's party. I think I like planning parties almost as much as my children like having them. All the ideas for this party came straight from onecharmingparty.com
She has a plan you just print out and go do. Much less stress and this party was very inexpensive. All the girls seemed to have a great time. I also realized how much more fun it is to have a party for older girls. They could do the crafts without help. I didn't worry about them painting the walls. The mostly just wanted to play with each other. They listened to what I was telling them. And they were all so grateful when everything was said and done.

I have uploaded so many pictures that I think I am going to leave them in the random order they came.

This is the table they first came to. They signed their names to the featured artist list and then drew a self portrait for Emma to keep to remember her friends by.

Before the guests arrived EmmaLee and her friend Jordyn decorated the table with sticker then during the party the girls made this paper chain.

While opening presents Emma was so excited she was being super silly and making the funniest faces.




The cake and I had a little of a love hate relationship. I first covered it in fondant and it looked so great. Then by the morning the fondant got a big air bubble in it I couldn't fix. Pulling off the fondant caused it to go crooked and I finally gave up and said good enough. Last minute I made some tie dye circles for the candles. The girls all thought it was great once I cut into it.

Here is one of the three art projects. They made birds out of feathers and air drying clay.
Snacks consisted of tye dye rolls, cheese, grapes, rainbow gold fishes, and rainbow cookies.
I made these simple "smocks" for each of the girls out of cheap mens t-shirts. I added the little yo-yo's and tied them with rainbow ribbon. One of the girls even slept in hers that night.

Their second art project was to paint a water color painting. I think they did a pretty good job.

Here they are as they came in.


Getting ready for the guests.


I have wanted a reason to make a lollipop tree ever since I first saw them. Super easy and so cute.

This is the bird craft table
Water color painting table.
the tye dye candle spots.
The girls were so much fun. I also realized that all 8-9 year old girls have messy hair and it is not just my daughter. I think they play to hard to have their hair stay pretty.

My baby girl is 9

Why is it so strange for this mother when her little people get older? Its a mix of emotions both sad and happy both proud and scared. She is such a wonderful person who I love to be around. Each year she gets more wonderful and each year I worry for her. She is so sweet and innocent. So smart and talented. She has made me several pictures in the past few days and I love them all. I sure do love EmmaLee!

We started out the day by going and getting Emma cinnamon rolls per her request. We then opened her presents and hung out around the house together. She is such a smiley happy girl and always the peacemaker. We love hanging around together. Then she went with her Grandma and Grandpa to eat lunch and pick out a present for her. I love this tradition they have started and the kids all look forward to special one on one time with them. She stayed there and played for awhile.
She finally came home and we made her favorite for dinner. White pasta with chicken. Then of course we made her a cake. I wasn't planning on doing anything fancy but then Sarah had this idea to make an artists palette since Emma loves art so much. Emma helped me with the paint brush. Fondant really is fun to play with and it really does add a nice touch.

Then yesterday Lauren came and took her out to dinner to the love boat. Emma loves sushi like Jared, Ryan, and I do. She loves Lauren and really enjoys the time they spend together. Lauren came over and played hide and go seek in the dark with all the kids and they all think she is the best!

Junior high

My son is starting Junior high tomorrow. Technically he has been going to Junior high already. He has been attending a charter school where he only goes to school a few hours 2 times a week. He sits in the same class we the same kids. He has not been in public school since second grade and I worry. Junior high holds some very deep memories for me. The time I got one of the leads in the musical and I could not have been more excited. The graduation party my friends threw and I felt so cool. Shopping at the mall with friends and calling boys on the phone. My first dance.

So why do I feel so nervous? For all the other deep memories. Trying to find the right friends. Not doing homework and getting into trouble. Kids being mean to not really me but other kids. The silent treatment from girls you thought were your friends. Lies. Feeling very uncool.

Jared is a very confident kid. He is comfortable with who he is and I admire that in him. He has friends at the school already and I do believe it will be good for him. He is so excited and for that I am thrilled. The momma bear in me wants to protect him from the harshness of the world but that same momma understands he also needs to experience it. Being a mother is hard. Harder then I thought it would be and it keeps being hard for different reasons.

Thanksgiving day.

Thanksgiving food for me is not something as a vegan I get very excited about. In fact I am usually a little to hungry by the end of the day. Food in general is somewhat of a sore spot for me and kind of a love hate relationship.

But this year I decided to make a bunch of dishes I was excited about and that were totally vegan. I made vegan stuffing, (plus a non-vegan sausage and apple stuffing for everyone else) vegan green bean casserole with the yummiest mushrooms, asparagus and bell peppers, and glazed carrots. My MIL made homemade rolls with no butter just for me and my SIL made a batch of potatoes just for me. I was so thrilled. It really felt like a Thanksgiving feast and I felt grateful for food.






We spent the day at my MIL's and we all had such a good time visiting. Cousins are the best!

Joseph and Ethan spent a good amount of time wrestling on the trampoline. They were very kind to eachother even though they were wrestling. It was hilarious to watch.
After pi we enjoyed watching Tangled together. It was cute and it made me laugh. That's all. Then it was time to tuck the tuckered little people into bed so that I could head out to door for some crazy Toys-R-Us shopping. I am not a Black friday shopper usually but my friend invited me and the store opened at 10 not 2 or 4 in the morning. I figured if I was going to try it that was a time frame I could work with. We got in line at 8. About 150 people were in front of us and it really wasn't to crazy yet.

But as we waited the 2 hours things got crazy. The line was wrapped around the building and I could not even begin to guess how many people were there. As it was almost opening time people started to cut in lone which made others made. Workers are not paid enough to really do anything about it. They let 50 people in at a time every 15-20 minutes until they reach 600 people. Seriously? 600 people in one store is crazy. At one point I was stuck in the back of the store with my cart because there was a bad traffic jam. Some people are mean and grouchy others are just dumb. I rushed to find all that I needed then headed to the line which only took about an hour. Right after I got in line it grow 4x behind me. I guess we all finished about the same time. It really was kinda fun and you do get a little bit of a rush. I got home about midnight and I don't think I ever need to do anything like that again.

I am thankful for new experiences!