Sunday, November 13, 2011

Normal

Why is it so hard to think of what to blog when it has been a long time? Maybe because there is simply to much to blog about. So many goings on in our house hold. To many emotional ups and downs to choose from. Some big events and many small ones I want to remember. Blogging why did you stop being a habit?

Today I want to remember how much I love the small every day parts of motherhood.

Jacob is now potty trained. He has been so easy to potty train. That has been refreshing. He is also out of his crib. This is the longest any of my kids have stayed in a crib. There was no baby to kick him out. The transition for that has been really easy as well. No more diapers and no more cribs.

Joshua loves school, most days. I think he loves being social and playing with his friends. For the first time we have neighborhood friends come over on a regular basis and I love that. Josh loves that his buddy lives so close.

Joseph has really come out of his shell this year. He talks much more and seems much less shy. We were talking yesterday remembering when he would grunt when we asked him a question. No more grunting. He tells me about school and friends. He had a little problem with the neighbor kid and I was impressed with how it was handled. The boy was calling Joseph names and teasing him. EmmaLee and Joseph decided to walk away from him when it occurred. He ended up apologizing and I think have these kinds of trials are good for kids when they are handled well. Life will be full of difficult people. I'm proud he didn't let this one boy talk that way. I'm proud he walked away from the situation.

EmmaLee has been seeking quality time with me. The other night she created a craft project for us to do together. Wish I had taken a picture. She reminds me so much of myself at her age. Loves to make things and chatter with friends. Loves her teacher to pieces.

I love when Sarah sees a need and tries to help. I have been sick in bed all day and she helped the kids get ready for church with being told to do so. She has become my best help in the kitchen, EmmaLee also. They love to cook and have even started making food on their own.

Jared loves to come find quiet moments to just talk we me. I feel loved when he tries to kick the kids out because he wants one on one time with me. I'm glad he feels comfortable sharing things with his momma.

I'm not sure when it happened but my children have started to become very independent. Ultimately that's what any mother wants for her children but it feels strange for me at the same time. With no more baby, no more diapers, and very few night time interruptions I feel freed of constant need and on the one hand I love that. On the other I miss holding a little person so very often. My kids still love hugs and snuggles and I take them appreciatively when they come but it just isn't the same.

I got to spend some beautiful time with a family members new baby this last week. It reminded me of sleepless nights and long days. That time is gone for me. I remember wishing time would speed up so I could... Make dinner, go to the bathroom, or even shower without worrying about that sweet new baby waking up or crying. Wondering when I would ever feel "normal" again not realizing normal is not a real tangible thing.

Normal I have learned is up's and down's. Sad moments sprinkled with unexplainable joy. A life very different and yet so much better then what you had planned. It is realizing that perfection is something to be sought after, yearned for, look forward to, not something to measure and beat yourself up over. Normal is making mistakes, messing up to the point of wanting to quit. Normal is getting up anyway. Itl is realizing this life is a long journey with a huge learning curve excepting and striving to understand everyone is trying to do there best. Normal is seeing that challenges do not define us. It is how we handle them that can create the person we are ultimately meant to be.

Sometimes I feel very normal and I wish and long for extraordinary. I believe that is part of the process as well. It seems our spirits can sense we have amazing greatness inside just longing to become majestic beings and yet this earthly experience requires patience and time. It demands we learn, stretch, grow and become through each individual challenge and triumph.

My BIL Sean reminded me last night that life is meant to be easy. That when we turn to our Savior even the hardest of "normal" challenges can bring great peace and even joy. When we keep Him in the for front of our experiences we can see He has more in store for us then we would happily settle for.

This month of thanksgiving I feel grateful for our hardships. I have learned some very good life lessons I would not have learned otherwise. I feel I am learning a little bit better how to be happy regardless of what life hands us. But mostly I am learning that normal is a pretty amazing process which seems to surpass my wildest expectations.

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