I am Wonder Women!

When I first met Ryan's mom I thought, "She is wonder woman" I remember feeling like there was no way I would ever measure up to this lady. Over the last few years it has become a joke between Ryan and I. Whenever I accomplish or do something I thought was difficult either Ryan or I will refer to me as wonder woman. Today was one of those days. Ryan was sick in bed with the flu so that meant I got to take all 6 children to church by myself. Hmmm? I wondered at the plausibility of this task but went forward with it any way as I felt like it was the right thing to do and would be the best example to my children (I never expected to get anything from the service today)

So to my shock and amazement my children were angels. Only one little tiff that lasted about 30 seconds. But more then that I got to really listen and absorb what was said. Then the baby slept all through church so I got to really listen to the full three hours. I learned a lot today and felt very full as I got the kids in the car to come home. Ryan greeted me with a "you are wonder woman"

As I did dishes tonight after the house was filled with sleeping children I thought about what this term means to me and why sometimes I feel like I can conquer the world and other times I feel deflated and very unable to do anything well. What I concluded is that we all have an inner Wonder Woman in us. Does that mean perfection is always evident in our eyes? Unfortunately not. What it does mean is that we are able to accomplish so much more then we realize. And it is in those moments of great accomplishment we fell on top of the world. It seems to me that in those moments that is who we truly are. A Goddess in the making. Creating and organizing matter that has been placed before us. We get distracted at times like a few weeks ago I was having a rough moment and Ryan said something about Wonder Woman and I started to cry and said "I am not wonder women." He loving reminded me of all that I had going on and that simply because I was having a rough moment did not take away from my inner wonderfulness.

As women it seems so easy to notice other women's greatness but fail to see our own simply because we see our faults so plainly before us. It is not in spite of our faults that we are wonderful it is because of them. It is through our hardships we learn to overcome, to get up when kicked down again and again, to press onward when all we really want to do is go back to bed. God gave us our strengths and our weaknesses so that we might learn to bring them together that we may rely on Him in all things.

What does it truly mean to be a wonder woman? Accomplishing something you previously thought difficult, challenging, or even impossible. Recognizing you are not perfect yet you keep striving for it. Desiring greatness and never settling (for very long) anything but the best you can possibly give and do.

Embrace the inner Wonder Woman in you.

My little three month old

I love this picture. It seems like I always get the pictures I love best when I am not trying. Some one asked me to take their daughters wedding pictures for her today. (I think she was finding out if I would be interested-her daughter might just elope) I would think that would be so amazing. The whole reason I love taking pictures is the ability a picture has to capture emotion. So to be able to capture one of the most passionate and love filled moments for a person would be a privilege. I don't really know that I am qualified but I would love to give it a try. That was off topic..
..Back to my little Jacob. He just turned 3 months and is seriously the happiest. He smiles all the time and the kids love when they come say hi to him and are greeted with the biggest Jacob grin. He is finally has a good little schedule. It seems to be the same most days. He wakes up at 7 and nurses about every three hours. He goes to bed around 8-9 most nights. I love schedules.
Jacob Milestones:
As of tonight he weighs 17 lbs
Cooes frequently and razzes especially when he has just eaten.
He has discovered his hands and loves to suck on them
He pushes up when on his tummy
Has "accidentally" rolled over a few times. (meaning he used my leg to push off or he was on an incline
He got his first hair cut about a month ago (I shaved it with the clippers and it's growing in great)
He really doesn't cry much. Only if we wait to long to bundle him and give him his pacifier.
Last night he went 7 hours before waking to eat (This could be due to the fact that I finally put him in the other bedroom and it requires him to really cry for me to wake up)
He has discovered his tongue and enjoys making faces
If you razz at him he will usually razz back.

Joshua and Joseph love to come and kiss his head or hold his hand. Wow I am curious what three little active boys will be like. The three older kids love to hold him and Sarah loves to get him dressed and change his diaper. Sometimes they pick out really cute outfits and other times, well...I find a reason to change him if we are leaving the house.

He brings a great happy spirit about him and I feel so blessed to have him in our home. I think we all feel that way

Blogging my dear friend...

...How I have neglected you.

I have such guilt in my life about all the things I think I should be doing. Tonight I am going to try to elevate the blogging guilt. So what that means is this post will be nonsensical. I want to document some of the events in my life before I forget they even happened.
Jacob is now 11 weeks and weighs 16.5 lbs. I did a double take on the scale. He is as big as an average 5 month old. I thought for sure he was going to be my skinny little boy. He doesn't look as chubby as 16 lbs sounds. He is long as well so it works nicely on him.

Joshua cracks me up with the things he says in regards to Jacob
"He's spilling him" When he was spitting up
"My baby always spits on you"

I woke up one morning and decided to start potty training him. Went out and got a new potty, underoos, and candy as a prize. As soon as we get home he goes and sits on it and goes #2. This is a big deal. I hate potty training for this reason. The fact that he has that one down makes all the wet accidents no big deal. In fact he still pees his pants more then he goes in the bathroom. But it is not a big deal. The funny thing too is that he sits on the toilet backwards. I tried to convince him that you don't have to sit that way but he is totally content. Silly boy.

Joseph caught a fly the other day and I told him to throw it in the toilet. His response, "NO, he's my friend."

Joseph wanted me to turn something off the other day. I must not have done it right in his mind cause he told me, "no off-er"

Jacob started sucking his fists while we were in Orlando and I think it is the cutest. He babbles and razzes and that started then also. He rolled over this morning but I think it was an accident. I took it as a cue to not leave him on the couch any more. Since we have only hard wood floors I had to go out and get a rug. I love it. I'll post pictures soon. I also bought plastic (but they look like ceramic) dishes from target. They are green and cream and they make me happy!

Joshua cracks me up. If you ever say "whats gonna work" he has to say team work. He can't help it. He will be in the middle of throwing a fit and all we have to say is "what's gonna work" and he will say it. Sometimes he tells us, "Ok I see team work and you say wonder pets" or "I say team work you say what's gonna work."

My wonderful sweet parents are finally home from their mission and it was so great to get to see them after them being gone for two years. My sister also had a birthday party for my nephew Darin while we were their and it was great for the cousins to get to play. It was nice to just talk with my parents about the little day to day stuff. It has been such a crazy few months and some how talking with them helps life to seem a little more normal.

My Mom cooked us up a yummy French meal, snails and all. I couldn't eat the snails cause they were covered in butter but every one else said they were fine. I have eaten snails before. Growing up my dad always had me taste strange things. I never cared. Jared is that way. He will try anything.

Then a week or so later they came down for Jacobs baby blessing. The day before we (my sister and her family came down to) went to old town San Diego and walked around. We really live in the coolest place in the world. Then my brother Clark came down to my house and we had a nice visit and enjoyed dinner together. I miss him and wish I got to see him more. He makes me smile and his laugh is really the best. I also got to take senior pictures for my Nephew while they were here. This one was my favorite.I love that my sister thinks I am a great photographer. She lets me practice on her family and sometimes they turn out great and other times not as much but she believes in me and that feels goods.

The blessing was wonderful and so the opposite of stressful. I guess having 6 kids has helped me to realize that life is not perfect and that's ok. I still struggle with wanting things to be just so but I am a work in progress. I did a very simple dinner and just enjoyed visiting with family and friends.

Some friends of ours, The Chambers, from St. George were down for the weekend and we got to enjoy a nice dinner with them at downtown Disney. I was surprised how well behaved all the kids were. They had 5 kids with them and with our 6 that makes for a big group. Ricki has been doing some longer runs and she inspired me. I am just starting back into running since I got pregnant and it is slowly getting easier. I really want to run a marathon some day. My friend Julie (also from St george) has always inspired me with her long runs and I really believe this is something I can achieve. I think now is finally the time I will get serious about this goal

Ryan had to go to Orlando for a business trip and I mentioned that it would be fun to go with him so he took me and Jacob along. We have a wonderful friend Delma who is retired and loves children. She came and stayed with our kids and I didn't worry about them at all! Everyone should have an Aunt Delma. Our Kids just love her!

It took almost a whole day to get their and I traveled by myself on the way their cause Ryan was already out on business. It was pretty mellow. Jacob was great! Nice people helped me when I needed it and I was able to manage when I needed to. I got to read and just enjoy the quiet time.

The next day Ryan was in a meeting. So what did I do all by myself with only Jacob? I took the day really slow. I slept in, eat breakfast, took a nap, went shopping, and just relaxed. That night Ryan and I went to a Brazilian restaurant. I decided I was going to taste all the meats and just get sick. I wanted the experience. For some reason I do this about once a year. I think I want to taste the meat cause it sounds good and then I remember that I don't really miss it and getting sick over it is not worth it.

On Friday we went to The magic Kingdom or Disney world. Before we left we tried so hard to fins a smoothie shop but to no avail. I didn't even know that it was called the magic kingdom. We had a really great time even though we couldn't go on the fast rides. We decided that it really is not that much different from Disney land. They had a few rides I had never heard of and some old ride Disney land had gotten ride of. The castle was much more grand and very cool! We also stuck around for the fireworks and I was very impressed. We meet a nice retired couple and had a good chat with them. They are locals and came down for the night just to watch the fireworks.

Then on Saturday we took it real slow and just enjoyed the slow pace of the day. We did finally find a smoothie shop with fake smoothies (mostly ice) but it was better then nothing. We went down to the beach and saw a huge jelly fish that had come ashore. It made me glad we weren't going in the water. Basically it just felt so great to slow down. It reminded me of the importance of taking life a little slower and enjoying the day to day. Now how do I tattoo that on my brain???

We had spring break and it was so wonderful. Not because we did anything grand but because we didn't. We just relaxed and it made me so excited for summer. No school! Just simple enjoyment with the kids!

Some day I will rock the photographic world..

..but for today all I have is some failed experiments.

I played with lighting and settings and unfortunately most are to dark. The ones I cared about anyway. I have been trying to get the perfect picture for my wall but my inexperience shined through instead. Arghh. He is still such a cutie though.



I did take some pretty good pictures of my nephew this weekend. I'll post those soon. I am just so tired (I say that a lot) and soon I will make the time. No more guilt. I am super woman and I can do it all. Positive affirmations! I think I can I think I can I think I can!

Little snipets

My parents are home my parents are home! After two years of being in out of the country they are finally home. I am so excited to see them! I have missed them so terribly!! There were days when I just needed my mommy. Now when I have those days I can just call her up. So on Thursday the kids and I are going to drive up to Vegas and see them. Ryan will fly in that night from a business trip in Arizona. Road trip, Yeah! Road trip with just me and six kids, (this is the part I would love to say yeah to but I am just not so sure yet)

It is my dad's b-day today. My dad is such a big softy. I remember crying when I was a teenager about something and my dad just holding me. Not offering any advice, just holding me and letting me cry. I have always felt of my dad's sweet love for me. I have felt from him that he respects me and even admires me. He makes it easy for me to understand how much love my Father on Heaven must have for me. I love this man and am proud he is my Father.

Other stuff I have been meaning to blog about:

Jacob cooed at Ryan 2-23. I've never seen such a proud father. He told me first thing then asked if I had heard him do that before and when he realized it was special for him, oh I wish I could capture that smile. Ryan's smile, the very big real genuine one is something I treasure far more then I think he knows or realizes. It makes my heart sing.

Jacob still has some nights where he is very confused. The past few days he thinks 4 o'clock is a good time to wake up. Other days its been a battle from 1-4. Last night he decided to wake up almost every hour of the night. On a good note it makes for interesting dreams.

He laughed at Joseph the other day. At least it seemed like it to us. He smiles much more now and it is in response to us and we love it. He is getting such cute fat cheeks that make his smile seem even bigger. The other day this lady insisted "he got a fat head, a really fat hat." I laughed for days on that one. I smile still when I think about about

Joshua and his ever abundant energy. He runs from one trouble making mess to the next. In fact he will come tell you he is doing something he shouldn't in a haha tone just some you will come get him. This is so funny to watch when he does it to the kids. He gets in to their toys and then taunts them. He then runs away as fast as he can. Tonight he got into to cookies and proceeded to lock himself in the bathroom. He shoved two in his mouth before we could unlock the door. Good thing he is #5. We have learned how to laugh much more.

Does that mean he doesn't stress me out? Of course not. I had to call poison control yesterday after I found out he had gotten into my iron pills which are very dangerous for kids. He didn't eat enough to have it be a worry. According to pest control he needed to eat 14 before it would be a concern.

He put on Jared's hat the other day and said. "I'm Jared." Then pointed to Jared and said, "you me"

His very favorite thing to say is "No, never" and "Yes ever" He always says it with a smile and it really cracks me up.

He has picked up on name calling and the other day said to me, "hey punk" The kids only two.

Today Ryan and Joshua stayed home from church and when he woke up from his nap he asked, "Where is everybody? I miss them"


Joseph quotes
"Jacobs looks kinda fat like Aunt Sarah's baby"

"I love the girl in my movie I got, she'd kinda cute" he said this with a shy grin

For family movie night this week we watched Horton Hears a who. We made little flowers and put specks on them. When we went to bed they were still wet so we had to wait for the morning for them to dry. First thing the next morning he runs into my room all excited and proclaims. "You know the world with the little people on it, it's dry" It made me laugh.

When we watched High school musical 3 and the junkyard scene was over he said in awe, "That part was kinda awesome"

Every single morning when he wakes up he comes into my room and asks if he can eat breakfast. I have never said no but he keeps asking me. I do enjoy it because then I get a little squish first thing in the morning."


Jared, Sarah, Emma
The other day they come in and ask if they can start a lemonade stand. Yeah sure. I didn't realize they were going to charge a buck a piece. Prices have sure gone up. The crazy thing? They made $6 almost instantly.

They have really loved having neighbor kids to play with and they are outside every chance they get. Jared is trying to learn to skateboard and has decided it is not as easy as it looks. The neighbor boys are pretty good and make it look easy.

Ryan was out of town last weekend so we decided to go on a little excursion. We went to the OC swap meet. The kids had allowance they wanted to spend and thought this would be fun. The things they bought cracked me up.
Fake poop that splatters when you throw it on the ground then comes back to "life"
A barking dog
A huge gardening hat
a necklace and earrings
a shock pen
a laser light
a yoyo type squishy ball
candy
football cards
a sword

Six of those things are already broken. The older kids learned that cheap price can mean cheap stuff. On the way home Jared and Emma were fighting because Jared wanted to buy Emma's laser light for $1 more then she paid, (it was $1 to began with) She said yes then with in seconds of actually trading she changed her mind. They started to fight then they brought me into it. I didn't know what was fair so I told them to work it out with out fighting or else I got to keep both. And what do you know, it worked. They came up with a solution and they were both fine with it. Wow. That was a good mommy moment!

It's sad to me..

... That I finally have my own newborn to take all the pictures I want of and I am simply to tired to do it. The older he gets the harder he is to mold and shape just the way I want. With that said I was able to get these gems the other day with the help Ryan and the kids. I had about ten minutes were I was feeling inspired. They didn't turn out how I wanted but he is so cute how do you not love them.


I seriously think he is the mostest cutest thing ever.

Joseph is five

My Sweet not so little lovey boy is 5. What does that mean? A year full of learning, experimenting, and discovery. 4 was a good year for him. He has become much more independent while still keeping his affection. With the help of Josh he has discovered how to explore more thoroughly. He is sweet and tells me which girls he loves. With the help of Emma he has discovered Hannah Montana and HSM. He tried Karate and is so eager to learn to read. He was frustrated when after only one lesson he didn't have it mastered. Jared has given him a love of legos. He was thrilled when he got his own set for his birthday. And Sarah and Joseph have developed an unexpected bond. They seem to get each other even though their personalities seem so different. When Jacob was born Joseph was most tender with him and seems to already completely love the guy. He wants to kiss him or just be by him as much as possible. His favorite word right now is Kinda. "That's kinda awesome." Or "That's kinda cool"

What am I trying to say? I just can't imagine my life without him. Joseph I hope you always know what a wonderful boy you are and that you are so deeply loved by so many people!


My pictures are out of order and I am to tired to fix it. Sorry.

Joseph got skates, a bike, and a scooter for his birthday. So for the first week this is how he ate, slept, and played.
We threw him a low key family party (with extended family that was 20 kids) The girls decorated the backyard for his bug party. I love that they thought to make a five on the wall.
He some of the cousins are eating cake and edible bugs they made out of marshmallows, pretzels, and chocolate chips.

Cade playing stick the spot on the lady bug. They were oreos the kids had to lick to make stick.

The cake Joseph picked out and helped me decorate.
Grandma holding Cousin Easton. When I saw this picture I couldn't help but notice that some of my kids have her eyes.

Joseph is being wrapped up like a cocoon to emerge a butterfly. The kids liked this but it was kinda hard for the little ones to do.

We had a relay race were you had to carry the bug on the bug splatter without falling off.
Here he is on his actual birthday. He decorated his own cake.

The realities of a family of six.

I tried to take some family pics of the kids the other day. It was so funny. Try to get 6 kids to look at the camera while being happy. Jacob was pulling Jared's hair. Joseph was being a clown. Sarah and Emma were laughing. And Joshua just doesn't like to sit still. I am going to try to get professional pictures and that will be great to watch.
I weighed Jacob today cause I noticed his little cheeks were filling out. HE will be 6 weeks in two days and he weighs 13lbs. Small babies are just not my thing. I just looked back and saw that Joshua was 13 lbs at 6 weeks also. I thought Jacob was going to be my skinny boy. Maybe not after all. I love this little baby of mine.
I thought it would be a great idea to take all the kids to the store the other day. Oh great fun was that. I have made a commitment to not do that again any time soon. Ryan said he will go for me after the kids go to bed. I love this man!

Staying at home is great and it seems easier then it was when adjusting to 1, 2, or 3. I am starting to feel much more normal. I even went on a walk today. It was a mild walk but it is a beginning.

I have so much to update. Joseph's fifth birthday, our high school musical party, our new home, Ryan's new calling, Valentines day, and so many cute things my kids say. Maybe tonight after the kids go to bed.

I can't believe it has been three weeks

We are just starting to realize that night time is night time. I am one of those people who do not do so well on little sleep. I still take naps every day and I NEED at least 9 hours of sleep to feel rested. All of my babies to this point would wake up 2-3 times at night o nurse but they all went back to sleep so it was never a big deal even for me. I felt tired but I could mostly function. So when baby Jacob decides night time is the best time to be awake and have his fussy period I start to become zombie mom. He would wake up and nurse for half an hour, go back to sleep for half and hour then be awake and be mad. Not sure if he was mad because I wasn't fully waking up or because it stressed me that he was awake and he could feel that.

He did much better two nights ago after a very long day and I woke up feeling much better. Like myself again. I was joking with Ryan that he is just trying to ensure his place as the baby of the family.

Other then that he is the best baby. Super snuggley. He is so easy to put to sleep. I bundle him like a burrito, give him the binkie, and hold him close. Jared and Sarah have both been able to put him to sleep and they love it. He was fussing tonight and Sarah went up to check on him. When I walked in I saw her holding him close and rocking him. So cute. She loves helping with him. I still am nervous to let the kids walk around with him so I think they don't get to love him as much as they would like.

People ask who he looks like and I can see all the kids in him. Today I thought he looked like Sarah and yesterday it was Joshua.

Such a sweet little spirit and it is blessing to have him in our home.

This picture cracks me up.

"No more pictures please."

I love his little monkey feet and toes.

Marguerite Anderson Miller

September 10, 1913 ~ January 25, 2009Obituary reads:

Marguerite was born on September 10, 1913 in Price, Utah to Albert Anderson and Hannah Anderson. She lived in Utah, Nevada, California, and Oregon. She married Harold William Miller on December 12, 1936. Their marriage was sealed (solemnized) in the Mesa Arizona Temple in 1940. She was a faithful member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, served in many callings, especially with the youth, and had an incredible faith and trust in our Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ.

She was an awesome seamstress; she sewed dresses for her girls and suits for her boys. She loved making clothes. She worked at various jobs, but retired from ZCMI. She loved camping, making jewelry, her poodles, sewing, but most of all visiting and being with family and friends.

She was an incredible mother to Ronald (Maria Luisa), Arnold (Jo Ann), Michael (Sharon), Arlene Burg, Connie (John Woodruff). She is survived by her children, 23 grandchildren, 46 great-grandchildren, and 7 great-great-grandchildren and one sister, Fern. Preceded in death by her parents, husband, 5 brothers, 3 sisters, and one grandson.

My dear sweet 95 year old grandma passed away on Jan 25th. Some where in my brain I honestly thought she would always be around. So although I was not shocked by the phone call I was still deeply saddened. I was touched by her life.

As it turned out the funeral was Saturday and that happened to be the day we were moving. With just having Jacob I could not have driven the 10 hour drive so I went by myself on a plane. I was sad that my children could not make it as we never get to visit my family. Life... it just keeps going even when I would like it to stop for just a minute.

My dad was not able to leave his mission to come so he asked my sister to read his words for him. As she did so I realized that such a part of my is because of her. I loved being reminded of her love for creating, a love I deeply share. I had also forgotten how much my family loves to laugh and how they all seem to laugh so freely. This is something I have always loved about my dad and my aunts and uncles. I came home with the desire to live more fully and laugh more freely.

It really was a wonderful weekend spent remeber Grandma.

Just a few pictures that touched me.

Pall Bearers

Aunt Connie with her grandson. They are pointing to the casket

This moment touched me so dearly. This is my nephew Brady. He took of his white corsage and laid it on the casket. It was done with such lov and tenderness.

What a most beautiful casket my Uncle Mike picked out. It is so my Grandma.

I few pictures to tide you over

I know I am his mother but he is seriously the cutest thing around.

After leaving the house at 10:30 and not getting home till around 6 the dr's were still unsure as to what is the matter with Jacob. After seeing my Dr who was perplexed, as well as the other dr in the office, we were set to a dermatologist. All the dr's in the office thought it strange and were unsure of what to do. After much discussion they decided to lance it and culture it. They also sent us to the lab for bloods work. Then they sent me home with antibiotics just in case. Another little blister popped up late last night then broke on it's own today. I called the on call dermatologist and he looked up Jacobs lab work and it appears that he has a staph infection. So the antibiotics really is all he will need and we should be better soon.

Here is a better picture of what it looked like. Now he looks sad cause he has two big bandages on his face.
His little cheeks are starting to fill out a little bit. You can see the little bump on his head here also. I love when he stretches like this.Jared is such a good big brother. So proud. He walked into the room today and said, "He is just so cute" Yeah we all think so. (and please excuse the messy bed, My energy is focused elsewhere)
Jacob finally got to get dressed in something other then jammies when we went to the Dr's for his first check up. He weighed 8 lbs which is good to only have lost three oz.

His first bath. He didn't get to upset till near the end. He is so long and skinny. I wonder how soon it will be til he fills out.

This is how Jacob is happy to spend most of his time. Bundled up sound asleep.

I do love this sweet little pea.

My baby Unicorn

Last night when we were getting Jacob ready for bed we noticed this little zit looking bump on his forehead.  No big deal but it does seem kinda weird.  By the time we go to bed it is a little bigger and I am starting to feel concerned.  Each time he wakes up in the night I can see the outline of it and it is getting bigger.  By the time I wake up in the morning it looks like this.  Now I am concerned.  The picture is from my phone as my computer will not upload my pictures right now.

I am on my way to the Dr's where I am hoping to find that this is no big deal and I am overreacting.  I really think it is just Jacobs way of reminding me that each child is unique and different and each comes with their own set of learning curves.  Wish me luck.

Life with baby Jacob

My sister went home today and I cried.  She has been helping out so much with my kids that  I have been able to rest and heal and just enjoy this sweet little baby.  I feel so appreciative of the wonderful people in my life who have been so helpful to my and my family.  It is like words just don't say thank you the way I feel it in my heart.  People have brought us dinner every night, my kids are being carpooled, helped with school work, and genuinely loved, my SIL's have helped by making things for the baby, helping pack and get organized, taking and picking up my sister to the airport, and just being a support while life is in a blissful state of change.  How do you adequately express thank you to some one who makes your heart full with gratitude?  If someone figures this out please pass the info along.  I feel like I have said thank you so much lately that I don't want the words to be lost on the hearer.  My heart is full with the love that surrounds me!

Jacob is such a sweet little baby and every day I see something in him that reminds me of a different child.  He is the perfect mix of everyone.  Joseph and Joshua love to come in and just "look" at him.  Holding him is fun but they seem more content to watch me change his diaper or to watch me hold him.    Since I have been hanging out in my room so much I really miss the daily interaction with the kids.  Even though I don't feel fully ready to be the mom of 6 I am ready to try.  I love them all so much and can't imagine who I would be if I didn't have them.  

I have been staring at this precious baby and wondering what it is he will teach me while in this life.  Each child has taught me more then I could have imagined.  With their own individual personalities comes different life lessons I wouldn't trade for anything.  

How to love more freely and fully 

That perfection doesn't come in an instance

To be patient even when you don't want to be

That when you make a mistake you say sorry and move forward

To forgive freely

To listen to what people say

To laugh, even and especially, at yourself

That you can accomplish more then you thought possible

That its OK to set aside the things you have to do and simple play

I could go on and on.  Heavenly Father must have seen that I am stubborn and had a lot to learn. He must have known that these beautiful children were the only way I would humble myself and be open to learn all that he has in store for me.  My life is good, rich, and so very full.

I feel like 2008 was a year of testing and trials and 2009 is my season to enjoy the harvest. This is a beautiful year brought on by the gift of meeting my son.  Jacob I love you dearly already.  I recognize your sweet spirit and feel like we have been reunited instead of meeting for the first time.

Jacob Hyrum

He's HERE! He was born Jan 15th, weighed 8lbs 3 ounces, and was 20 3/4 inches long.

I have posted a bunch of pictures from yesterday for those interested in just pictures. What follows is my birth story so if you want to you can either read it or simply skip down to the cuteness of Jacob.

I was scheduled to be induced originally on the 15th. My Dr thought that the baby would be big since I measured big the whole pregnancy. Planning the induction date also made it so that my sister could get her plan ticket ahead of time and be here to help out.

At my 38 week appointment I was in a lot of hip pain and general discomfort so the doc told me she would induce on the 13th at 8 in the morning. I didn't tell anyone cause I wanted to have this little surprise, my way of pretending I wasn't being induced. Our dear friend "auntie" Delma offered to come over while we were at the hospital. She arrived at 7 in the morning and we were on our way. I was starting to feel a little nervous about labor as we walked into labor and delivery.
My anticipation was quickly turned to disappointment when the head nurse had no record of me on the schedule. I insisted I should be there but she flatly denied my presumption. So I asked her how I should proceed and she rudely said she didn't know and I should just talk to my doctor as though I had made some mistake by showing up!
As we walked to the car I wasn't sure if I should be angry or cry! I sent Ryan into my doctor's office to 'handle' it. The doctor's nurse said that the hospital had called her the day before to say they didn't have room and she had called my old cell number and left a message but didn't hear back so assumed everything was fine. She said she'd get me on the schedule for the next day at 8am again. By the time Ryan got back I was good with it. I had accepted it and decided to enjoy the day. I realized I had one more day before the after pains of birth would be here, so I played with the kids, went out to lunch with my family and just had a great time.
So, Wednesday morning at 6am my cell phone rang. It was L&D and they were letting me know that there was no room in the inn. I laughed. They said to call back at 10am and they'd have more information for me, but that I would be coming in, but they just were not sure when.
At 10 I called and they said they were still full, don't call us, we'll call you... So, I took their advice and called at 2:11! But before then I decided that I wouldn't just sit around. I grabbed my computer and headed over to my SIL Hope's house and hung out with her and worked on some scrap book pages. On my way home I called (2pm-ish).
The nurse at L&D told me that there were two ladies that were 'possibly' in labor and she'd call me back between 3 and 4 to let me know the status. So, at 4, since I hadn't heard from them, I called in again and she let me know they had room but couldn't get a hold of my doctor to find out how they should move forward. So I patiently went to work and called my doctor and she wasn't available. So a few minutes later the hospital called me back and told me it was time to come in. I was shocked. I had accepted that it was probably going to be the next day.
So, we picked up some food and went to the hospital. As we walked up to the hospital Ryan said he had thought that Jacob wouldn't be born on the 13th yesterday when we went in the first time. I had thought that he would be born on the 15th. Even when I had scheduled with the doctor for the 13th I wondered if we shouldn't have kept it at the 15th. Funny how that works!
So, we got to the hospital about 5:45, filled out paper work and got settled into our room. Room number 511. How funny. I just realized that our room number backwards is 115 or 1/15...Jacob's birthday! Anyway, the nurse checked me at 6:30 and I was dilated to 1 1/2 and 20% effaced. As this did not seem like very much I wondered if it would be a long night.

The pitocin was started at 7 and contractions became regular quickly. By 7:30 they were 3-4 minutes apart and gaining in intensity. They never got horribly bad though. This hospital believes that you should get the epidural when you feel like you need it unless your dr states otherwise. So about 9 I let her know I couldn't laugh through them any more and so it seemed like a good time. In the past I am in a lot more pain before they will let me have the epidural and it seems like I am waiting for a long time for the anesthesiologist to get there. He walked in the room within 5 minutes, had me fill out paper work, set things up, and by 9:15 the needle was in.

Again I thought how surreal things felt because it was all going so easily. Here I am in labor just relaxing cause things really went so smooth and easy.

My Dr came in just as the anesthesiologist was leaving. She is single and it was funny to me to watch her act flirtatious with him. I laughed inside. She checked me and at 9:30 I was 2-3 cm dilated and 50% effaced. Yeah. Things were progressing. She decided to brake my water. Ryan and I relaxed and watched some tv. I was excited to get to watch American Idol. I love that show. I was so tired and was drifting in and out of sleep.
At 11 they checked me again and I was told not much had changed. I decided to go to sleep since I had no idea how long of a night it would be. At 12:30 I woke up to pressure. I debated if I should call the nurse. It seemed to soon to be anything real. I was glad I decided to because when she checked me she laughed and said, "oh baby's right there" I woke up Ryan and my Dr was called. They preped the room and me. After a few pushes out came this beautiful little guy. He let out one little cry instantly and they placed him right on my chest.
What a wonderful sound his cry was! At this hospital they let him stay with me for over an hour before they weighed and measured him. They cleaned him while I held him. It really was the best! He nursed right away and he is just such a sweet content baby. He didn't cry when they changed his diaper, bathed him, or when they gave him a poke with the needle. He doesn't even cry when he wants to nurse. He just roots until I feed him.

Weighing in at 8lbs 3 ounces
Sweet Jacob fingers.
Being born takes a lot out of a little guy.
Proud Papa
"1,2,3,4...My Turn!"
Joshua is so excited to be a big brother. He gets so excited every time he sees Jacob. He calls him 'baby' and loves to hold him. In fact, he cries when he doesn't get a second turn!

Check out that hair!Imagine the fun these three will have together!

Joseph is so loving. He says, "I'm going to wash my hands so I can pet the baby!"
Grandma Chapman & Sarah enjoying Jacob. I don't have a picture of Emma & Jared holding the baby yet. They were so excited to hold Jacob they beat the camera getting out.

The nurses and doctor seemed to respect our 'expertise' in the birth since this was our sixth. They seemed to be less pushy than past doctors and nurses. In fact they were so confident in us that we were in and out in less than 24 hours. Jacob was just 13 hours old when we came home!

We just feel so blessed to have this little boy in our home! After five children it's still a wonder and miracle. He has a unique little look and personality at day one!