Wondering if I can right coherently while on drugs?

I have been laying in bed for two days straight and I think I am starting to get a little bored. Most of the time I have been sleeping or kinda out of it from the drugs. I have mastitis and I don't remember ever feeling this sick. I was shacking uncontrollably the first night and it scared me a little bit. On the plus side, I was in and out of the ER within an hour. Crazy. That never happens! More on the plus side? I finished reading The Giver. It was such an interesting book and I'm not really sure what I think about it.

On a big down side? I was planning on making wedding cake all day yesterday and now I am not sure when or how I am going to get that done?? Hmm? The good thing is it will get done some way or another.

For thanksgiving we are going to Vegas. It will be the first time in years that my family will all be together. My kids will meet their niece for the first time. We saw her when she was first born but its been so long. I can't wait to snuggle and squish her. I miss the kids and I am looking forward to spending the whole week with them. First my families and then Lindsy's wedding.

Last weekend Ryan and I (and Jacob) went to HB and celebrated our anniversary. I think this one has been the best yet. We just enjoyed being together. No expectations, no worries. We spent the early afternoon at Disneyland. It was fun to go at such a slow pace. We have been so many times with the kids that we have a ritual we usually do. This time we walked place we never go and ate a restaurant we had never been to. It was actually good food. In California Adventure it is right next to the winery. Best salad I have had in a long time. We really didn't go on many rides but we did enjoy the Christmas spirit that has sprung up there.

I am not sure that I am ready for Christmas to come. I love the season, the smells, the giving, the crafting, the baking. I am not really ready for the shopping, the lines, the stress. I digress... back to our anniversary. Ryan picked out an amazing hotel right on the beach. I loved the feel of the whole place. The Shore Break Hotel! Highly recommended by me! We checked in and walked on the pier and check out some vendor's. Ryan bought me a necklace and earrings. So sweet. Then we ate at this amazing restaurant right on the beach. Jacob was so good the whole time and I was grateful to have him with us. It made it easy not to miss the kids. We walked around the stores after this and Ryan bought me some adorable shirts. Then we crashed.

In the morning I got up kinda early and went for a wonderful beach run. So beautiful. It was easy to run with a smile on my face with such a view. When I got back we went to breakfast. Then we rented a bike cart. So much fun. There is a little seat in front for Jacob to sit and he promptly fell asleep when we put him in it. I ended up holding him while we rolled along the beach. We both thought of the kids at this point. They would love it. Then I bought Ryan his favorite gift ever. A long Skateboard. He was like a little kid. So much fun. We checked out of our hotel and as we did so we decided to ask about the family rooms. We both felt like the kids would love it there. SO... In feb we are going to take a little family vacation. Right on the beach. Yes I know it will be cold but We think there will be enough to do with out getting in the water. The room is wonderful and has a huge balcony that faces the beach with a hammock that I am sure the kids will love.

After this we went down to South Cost Plaza and ate lunch and did a little more shopping. Normally neither one of us are shoppers but we really enjoyed ourselves. For some strange reason after our mellow and relaxing getaway we felt the need to go see 2012. Did not love it and it only made us both feel tense. Now we know.

Having Ryan's undivided attention for 2 days was wonderful. We talked and dreamed and just enjoyed! I think we should do this every 6 month and not just wait for our anniversary. How blessed am I to be loved by such an amazing man.

Another picture just cause

Jacob is 10 months

I think I love this sweet little happy boy!!! Jacob got to spend one on one time with us this weekend when we went away for our anniversary. It was so good to have him along. We didn't miss the kids so much because we had him to snuggle and love. He is so good natured and rarely fussed. What a blessing to have him as our last little man. He completes us.


Milestones-
-He weighs 21 lbs still. We have started feeding him more fatty foods, will see if that helps to fatten him up a bit.
-He loves to pull himself up to standing and every once in awhile he seems to forget he can't stand without holding on and falls.
-He laughs at us and we love it
-He really does love all foods except baby food and not so much love towards rice
-He is very patient with his siblings sitting on/loving/tickling/wrestling/feeding/you name it. It takes a lot to make him mad
-He still army crawls and he has gotten very fast at it. When I put him down he takes off.
-He usually will show me what he has when it is something he should have. He waves it in my direction
-Jacob waves and claps- I love this. It always makes me smile.
-Kids tv makes him clap every time. He doesn't really watch it he just gets excited when it turns on.

Pictures

I am adding a bunch of pictures but I am to out of it to write captions so... for your viewing pleasure

My EmmaLee Rebecca

Yesterday we decided on a whim to take Emma to the American Girl Doll Store for her birthday. Her Bday is not really until the 26th but with it being Thanksgiving and all we have to do to help my SIL with their wedding this was the best time. She was so cute about the whole thing. Emma is a peace maker and wants every one to be happy. She also knows what she wants. She made her decision so quickly and never looked back. In the car I asked if she is going to be sad on her birthday since she got her gifts early and she quickly responded with a quick, "yep." Hmm? Not sure what to do about that.
I just love this sweet little person that is EmmaLee. She enjoys school and says her teacher is super nice which I am very pleased about. The girls are nice, mostly. Their is one girl that doesn't want to play with Emma but she acts as though she doesn't care. I worry sometimes about Emma cause she is so easy going. I never really know if she is just trying to keep the peace or if she is really ok. I want the world for her. She laughs easily and loves so freely. What a gift EmmaLee is to me.

Humm?

Blogger you give me guilt. I love you and yet you bring me some serious guilt. I will look on the bright side. Before blogging I journaled a few times a year at best so this is a step up from that. I just have so much floating around in my head I get overwhelmed when I think of writing. I will just jump right in.

After a very shaky start to our school year and going back in forth for over a year I finally made the choice to put my kids into public school. This has not been an easy decision. I love having my kids around me all the time. I love their little fiery spirits and the way they have of making me laugh and smile even when I am having a rough moment. So if I love having them around so much why did I decide this? I am ready to just be the mom. The one who comforts and loves not the one who nags and gets frustrated. The man source of frustration in my house was always center around keeping the kids on task during "school" hours. Or the kids distracting one another when they should be working. I have cried more then once since I made this decision. Some how I feel slightly like I have failed them. I know that seems silly.

So what do they think about school? Emma loves it! She is so social and this is so great for her! The kids are nice to her, which I am grateful for. She told me that one little boy has a crush on her. I asked her how she could tell and she said this, "He stares at me all the time and when he talks to me he stutters" I asked if he normally stutters and she said no. She also informed me that she is not interested. I love my sweet Emma.

Joseph likes school as well. The first day he came home and was worried because he claimed they didn't do any school work. I asked him what they did do and he told me about snack time and recess. Since I have only had one child go to kindergarten I was unsure what to think. Upon more investigation they did do some coloring of letters with markers (he was excited about the markers because I have a ban on markers. One to many children have colored on walls with markers) He is used to doing much more for his school day. I think he is enjoying it though. He is not much of a talker when he is tired and I think school is taking a lot out of him.

Sarah is a different story. Sarah went to kindergarten in public school and it was a joke. She was reading at a 3rd grade level when she entered school and I think it was mostly a social event for her. But for the next 4 years she has been home. Sarah is like me and thrives on structure and is not so fond of change. She does not understand why I felt the need to put her in school. I told her I prayed about my choice and that I felt really good about it. That seemed to help her. But the night of the second day of school she came to my room late. She started to sob. She informed me that she misses Emma and she misses me. She has been my shadow ever since. Even when we are around other kids she wants to be right next to me. I did not expect this from her. She acts so mature all the time sometimes I forget she is only nine. She is still me sweet little Sarah who needs to be loved.

Funny story about Sarah's first day of school. She reads so much more then the normal 4th grader. She has been that way since she first started reading. So when she tells stories sometimes they sound like they came straight from a book. This is her story as best I can remember it. "Because I am the new girl all of the girls want to be my friend. They are encircled me and asked me to tones of questions. Then in comes another girl. She says 'excuse me' and the girls all part to let her through. Then she exclaims, 'You are going to want to be friends with me, I am very funny.' Then in my mind I nicknamed her the popular girl." I laugh good at this one. She has read enough stories about popular girls she was able to spot the social dynamic right away. I hope this will be in her favor as relationships develop with these girls. Sometimes girls can just be so mean and I am not looking forward to that part of public school.

I have decided to keep Jared at home for 2 reasons. 1. I didn't think that Jr High would be the best time to stick a kid back in to public school. Like dealing with hormones isn't enough then through in punk kids who feel the need to tear you down because they are not ok with who they are. He thinks it is great to be the only one home and to be able to get most of my attention. It is working out so far. 2. He is very self motivated and I don't have to nag him or be on him to get his school work done. Good grades mean a lot to him and all I have to threaten him with is a bad grade and he gets focused. I think that is typical oldest child behavior.

Joshua is now favoring me again which is so awesome. He has been daddys boy but now that I get to spend so much attention on him I am winning him over. Another plus to public school.

Jacob is 9 1/2 months. He still doesn't crawl but he does army crawl really fast. So fast that I have to really keep an eye on him. Every little thing goes in his mouth. We may have to ban legos next. The pieces are so small.
He started to clap about two weeks ago. I love that.
Oct 2 he pulled himself up to standing and just yesterday he was walking along the furniture. About a month ago I was in the kitchen and he army crawled his little self right up to me. So sweet that he wants to be near mommy. If only they always loved being near me.
He loves food so much. He now refuses baby food if any one else is eating. He wants what we have. If he thinks you have food he spits out his binky so that you can feed him.
Jacob has been jabbering much more. He says hi frequently and I am starting to think he actually knows what it mean.
He favors me above everyone else. If I am in the room he will cry for my to pick him up. If other people try to hold him he gets upset. Tyler babysat the other night and Jacob wanted nothing to do with him. Sarah ended up holding him most the night. I think she loved it.
He weighs 21 lbs. He gained so much weight so fast I thought he was going to be a tank but he has really started to thin out. I am sure it has to do with being so busy. He doesn't like to sit still anymore. I miss the sweet snuggly stage. AT church today he was just so busy. He was wriggling all over the place. My favorite was when he started to spit or razz. I put his binky in and he shock his whole body then spit it out. Funny kid
He also loves my hair and loves to put it in his mouth.
I love this little baby of mine!