Sunday, October 31, 2010

The Perfect Mother continued

Happy Halloween! My kids did their very own pumpkins this year. With my inability to help they went to it with a little help from the Man.

I love parties. I love to plan them and throw them. I love to think of cute food items and clever crafts/games. My mom always had cute themes and I know I learned this love from her. With Halloween coming and being on a Sunday I had decided it would be the best time to have fun planning a family party. I got tons of ideas and I was all set to go. I delegated out food assignments, I had my stations all planned out, and I was feeling so excited to see it all come together. comes the part where I learn the lesson again to let go of perfection. (Perfection in my mind is having a well laid plan and executing it perfectly. I recognize this has never happened and I see my need of letting this false ideal go.) I am not recovering from my appendectomy like I would hope. I feel worn out and I feel nausea. It has been a little over a week since I came home and I am ready to feel tip top. But I don't. I recognized last week that I would not be able to do what I wanted in regards to my little party and I conceded. I asked for help and my family has all stepped up to help me. They are great like that.

I left myself the job of making dessert and decorating the juice bottles to look like mummies. I tried last night to do the mummy juices. They turned out so cute, all 4 of the 19 I made. I just could not sit the way I needed to to get it done. Oh well. I actually let it go and didn't get discouraged. This is big for me.

Then this morning I set about to tell my children how to make the vision I had for the desserts. But we are out of eggs. My husband ate them for breakfast. At first I started to fell my old perfectionist self come out. The one that gets a little tense and frustrated that things are not going according to plan. My husband nicely reminded me it didn't really matter. I always know he is right but it often takes me time to admit it. I called a friend to borrow eggs. She has half what I need which is great. I use powdered eggs for the other part.

The cake doesn't cook right and I don't care. It doesn't look how I envisioned and I still love it. The kids did most of the work while I supervised and I know they are proud of their work. And I am proud of me. I stayed calm and enjoyed the imperfect process. Maybe I can get used to imperfection after all. It is much more fun.

My house is not as clean as I would like it but all I can do is sit here and stare at it. Will anyone have a less enjoyable time because I have dust bunnies, clutter, partial mummy juices, or my cake isn't perfect? Of course not. Just typing that is freeing!

After I wrote that all out I looked over at my 4 mummies and realized that I also will have 4 Activity stations. I then hopped over (wish I could really hope right now) to onecharmingparty
and print out her little Halloween cats and used them as station markers. and they look super cute.
In case you are wondering my four stations are:
1.Pumpkins made out of toliet paper rolls, and tissue paper.

2.Owl cupcakes

3.Leis for the soldiers. I just love this idea. My SIL Amy asked if she could have the kids do this. They take all of their unwanted candy and donate it to the pile. We then make candy leis with plastic wrap and curling ribbon. We will then as a family go to meet the soldiers who have no one to meet them when they come home from active duty and give them the leis. The kids will then get to feel more gratitude for these men who give so much for our freedom.

4. Gratitude Chain. The kids will each write or draw a picture of something they are grateful for then we will tape it all together place the chain in my kids craft room/homework room and we will add to it through out the whole month. That way will focus more on what we have instead all we want with xmas coming around.

A craft, a service project, a dessert, and an uplifting thought. That is what every party needs right?

Saturday, October 30, 2010


The kids had a good time tonight at the church trunk-or-treat. Since Halloween is going to fall on a Sunday we decided to only do this instead. I sat in the car passing out candy and it was cute seeing all the little and not so little kids. We brought Betty and she seemed to have a good time as well. It was nice to be apart of things even when I am still not fully recovered.

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

The Perfect Mother

I read this blog post
today while laying in bed feeling tired and frustrated that I am yet to recover from surgery. I have missed being the everyday mother. I feel as though I am learning how not to expect perfection from myself. I have felt greater peace as I have learned on a deeper level that no, I can't make everyone happy all of the time, including myself.
I have come up with a quick little mantra to help when I notice I have become frustrated with my lack of perfection. It is amazing how understanding my purpose can give me such peace of mind.

I am not perfect. That is not my purpose here.
I will trip and fall then learn and rely.
My savior is the only way
No matter what else I might try.