Sunday, April 11, 2010

I have been wanting to write about my running experience but I was hoping to wait until I had good news. Two weeks ago today I was having a great run. The kind where I achieved total flow. Meaning I felt at peace with the world and I felt as though this is what I am meant to do at this time in my life. I came to the most amazing realization- if I have to walk several miles I am going to finish this marathon. It helped to relieve stress I had been feeling wondering if
this is really something I could do. Then with about 1 mile left in my 7 mile run I felt sharp pain threw my knew as I heard a loud cracking sound. It caused me to hop step. I was able to regain myself and finish my run. My knee really didn't bother me to much until the next day when I could only run a mile before I felt the pain again. I was frustrated by this point. How was I going to do my first 16 miler?

We were going to be staying in Huntington and I love the nice flat beautiful area. I ended up spending three hours on the elliptical in the gym. When I was done I felt pretty good. My knee didn't hurt to bad. Monday I saw the chiro and he said I should be ok. So that night I was able to do a 5 mile run on the treadmill. Then Wednesday again about two miles in sharp pain. Ryan had to come get me. More chiro. biked Thursday.

When I started my long run sat I felt so good. I have missed running outside. Then two miles in the knee pain is back. After more chiro and more bike riding I am starting to wonder if I am
going to able to do this? Tuesday night I had watched on YouTube videos of people doing my marathon. So inspiring. I could really visualize myself there running and finishing this marathon. Mentally I had finally really got there. Really believing I have got this. Now it is my body that is really testing me.

I am hoping for a Cinderella story here.
Happy ever after. But if I am never able to do this I am so grateful for the experience. I have learned so much about myself and about life while training. I no longer stress about what I can't change. In the past I would be so upset and stressed about my knee problems. But I
feel strength from on high. I recognize that all I can do is all I can do and that is enough. I have also learned that pushing my self to do hard things is more rewarding then imagined. I have run 14 miles. I never thought I would be able to do that but I did and I loved it.

***Update
Yesterday I tried one more time. The whole week I laid off running. I biked and did more elliptical trying to keep up endurance. I got a brace for the run on Saturday. I have been icing it 2-3 times a day. I was even using a roller to try to work the muscles. I had decided that if I can't run I can't Saturday I can't do the marathon. I was doing ok until about 3 miles. I got farther then last week but just not far enough. Then I had another great thought. (I think the holy ghost speaks to me when I exercise) Just because I am unable to do this marathon does not mean I will never be able to finish one. I am already look for a new one. I have decided to take a month or two to try and heel my knee. I will keep biking and elliptical and maybe swimming. I will start doing strengthen exercises so that I hopefully won't ever have this problem again. And then I will start to train all over again. I hope that what I have gained from training will quickly come back to me and that I don't have to start from scratch. I am looking into the St George marathon.

Saturday, April 10, 2010

He makes me cry...

...and I mean that in the best possible way. Twice this week this mini man has brought me to tears. On Friday I was feeling very frustrated about my knee problems and my inability to run. When I left the house to run some errands he over heard me tell Ryan how sad it mad me feel. While I was out I happened to check my email on my phone and this is the message I got,
Dear Mother
Always remember who you are and what you can accomplish if you desire it. And, never give up, NEVER EVER GIVE UP. You can do any thing; so don't let others tell you what you can and can not do. And you are what you think you are. You make a day a good day or a bad day. Remember that.

Jared M. Chapman, future Eagle Scout.

It really helped me to turn my perspective around. Just because I can't run right now doesn't mean I will never be able to run. I'll update about the marathon in another post.

Then today while Ryan and I were looking at a possible house for rent Jared had the kids clean up the house. They even wiped down the counter tops and folded and put away the laundry I had out. I think I really like this phase he is in right now. The kids were all so proud of themselves. And they were surprised I had tears in my eyes. I guess they didn't realize how little it takes to make me really happy.

I decided to test run my brand new to me camera. Can I just say how much I love love love it? Um... a lot!!!

There is still so much I do not know about photography and I am finally starting to see that I need to take a class to learn what I want but for now I am having fun learning. It's easy when my "models" are so dang good looking!
I don't have photoshop on my new computer yet so these are all unedited.