Hope among sorrow

Today is one of those days were sadness fills me to my very core and I am not sure how to even come to grips. A couple days ago I got reading a blog, about some one I did not even know. The mom died in child birth leaving behind 3 children plus the baby who only lived a very short time. The post was written by the husband. Tears poured because I could not imagine how I or Ryan would try to pick up the pieces and go on after such a devastating lose.

Today at lunch Ryan and I got to talking about the "what-if's" But it is still so hard to comprehend, the thought of losing anyone that you love. And then it happens.

Shortly after Ryan went back to work he called me with news that a family member had committed suicide. My first thoughts were numbness and a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach. My empathy instantly went to the persons mother. I felt such an overwhelming feeling of love for her and prayers have gone through my mind all day. Then I think about his father, his siblings, his family, his friends. All are left to try and cope without him. Where is comfort to be found?

In times of sadness like this, the overwhelming kind, the only answer can come through our Savior. Does that me know one will feel sadness? Of course not. But the hope is that through Him, at first, the pain can be slightly less. That through Him there is hope to be found. That while sadness is all one can feel there is hope that one day light will come again. That one day a person begans to notice the pain a little less and the brightness and warmth a little more. That as we turn to Him in our sorrow we find someone who understands when no one else can and in a one only He can.

So tonight as my Joshua screams during prayers and the older kids fight I thank my Father in Heaven for children who grace my home with chaos and noise and laughter and joy. I hold them a little tighter and I try to turn my own sorrow into hope. Hope for a brighter tomorrow.