A taste of what we have been up to.

I am to tired to add captions. Hopefully I will get to it tomorrow.

Wondering if I can right coherently while on drugs?

I have been laying in bed for two days straight and I think I am starting to get a little bored. Most of the time I have been sleeping or kinda out of it from the drugs. I have mastitis and I don't remember ever feeling this sick. I was shacking uncontrollably the first night and it scared me a little bit. On the plus side, I was in and out of the ER within an hour. Crazy. That never happens! More on the plus side? I finished reading The Giver. It was such an interesting book and I'm not really sure what I think about it.

On a big down side? I was planning on making wedding cake all day yesterday and now I am not sure when or how I am going to get that done?? Hmm? The good thing is it will get done some way or another.

For thanksgiving we are going to Vegas. It will be the first time in years that my family will all be together. My kids will meet their niece for the first time. We saw her when she was first born but its been so long. I can't wait to snuggle and squish her. I miss the kids and I am looking forward to spending the whole week with them. First my families and then Lindsy's wedding.

Last weekend Ryan and I (and Jacob) went to HB and celebrated our anniversary. I think this one has been the best yet. We just enjoyed being together. No expectations, no worries. We spent the early afternoon at Disneyland. It was fun to go at such a slow pace. We have been so many times with the kids that we have a ritual we usually do. This time we walked place we never go and ate a restaurant we had never been to. It was actually good food. In California Adventure it is right next to the winery. Best salad I have had in a long time. We really didn't go on many rides but we did enjoy the Christmas spirit that has sprung up there.

I am not sure that I am ready for Christmas to come. I love the season, the smells, the giving, the crafting, the baking. I am not really ready for the shopping, the lines, the stress. I digress... back to our anniversary. Ryan picked out an amazing hotel right on the beach. I loved the feel of the whole place. The Shore Break Hotel! Highly recommended by me! We checked in and walked on the pier and check out some vendor's. Ryan bought me a necklace and earrings. So sweet. Then we ate at this amazing restaurant right on the beach. Jacob was so good the whole time and I was grateful to have him with us. It made it easy not to miss the kids. We walked around the stores after this and Ryan bought me some adorable shirts. Then we crashed.

In the morning I got up kinda early and went for a wonderful beach run. So beautiful. It was easy to run with a smile on my face with such a view. When I got back we went to breakfast. Then we rented a bike cart. So much fun. There is a little seat in front for Jacob to sit and he promptly fell asleep when we put him in it. I ended up holding him while we rolled along the beach. We both thought of the kids at this point. They would love it. Then I bought Ryan his favorite gift ever. A long Skateboard. He was like a little kid. So much fun. We checked out of our hotel and as we did so we decided to ask about the family rooms. We both felt like the kids would love it there. SO... In feb we are going to take a little family vacation. Right on the beach. Yes I know it will be cold but We think there will be enough to do with out getting in the water. The room is wonderful and has a huge balcony that faces the beach with a hammock that I am sure the kids will love.

After this we went down to South Cost Plaza and ate lunch and did a little more shopping. Normally neither one of us are shoppers but we really enjoyed ourselves. For some strange reason after our mellow and relaxing getaway we felt the need to go see 2012. Did not love it and it only made us both feel tense. Now we know.

Having Ryan's undivided attention for 2 days was wonderful. We talked and dreamed and just enjoyed! I think we should do this every 6 month and not just wait for our anniversary. How blessed am I to be loved by such an amazing man.

Another picture just cause

Jacob is 10 months

I think I love this sweet little happy boy!!! Jacob got to spend one on one time with us this weekend when we went away for our anniversary. It was so good to have him along. We didn't miss the kids so much because we had him to snuggle and love. He is so good natured and rarely fussed. What a blessing to have him as our last little man. He completes us.


Milestones-
-He weighs 21 lbs still. We have started feeding him more fatty foods, will see if that helps to fatten him up a bit.
-He loves to pull himself up to standing and every once in awhile he seems to forget he can't stand without holding on and falls.
-He laughs at us and we love it
-He really does love all foods except baby food and not so much love towards rice
-He is very patient with his siblings sitting on/loving/tickling/wrestling/feeding/you name it. It takes a lot to make him mad
-He still army crawls and he has gotten very fast at it. When I put him down he takes off.
-He usually will show me what he has when it is something he should have. He waves it in my direction
-Jacob waves and claps- I love this. It always makes me smile.
-Kids tv makes him clap every time. He doesn't really watch it he just gets excited when it turns on.

Pictures

I am adding a bunch of pictures but I am to out of it to write captions so... for your viewing pleasure

My EmmaLee Rebecca

Yesterday we decided on a whim to take Emma to the American Girl Doll Store for her birthday. Her Bday is not really until the 26th but with it being Thanksgiving and all we have to do to help my SIL with their wedding this was the best time. She was so cute about the whole thing. Emma is a peace maker and wants every one to be happy. She also knows what she wants. She made her decision so quickly and never looked back. In the car I asked if she is going to be sad on her birthday since she got her gifts early and she quickly responded with a quick, "yep." Hmm? Not sure what to do about that.
I just love this sweet little person that is EmmaLee. She enjoys school and says her teacher is super nice which I am very pleased about. The girls are nice, mostly. Their is one girl that doesn't want to play with Emma but she acts as though she doesn't care. I worry sometimes about Emma cause she is so easy going. I never really know if she is just trying to keep the peace or if she is really ok. I want the world for her. She laughs easily and loves so freely. What a gift EmmaLee is to me.

Humm?

Blogger you give me guilt. I love you and yet you bring me some serious guilt. I will look on the bright side. Before blogging I journaled a few times a year at best so this is a step up from that. I just have so much floating around in my head I get overwhelmed when I think of writing. I will just jump right in.

After a very shaky start to our school year and going back in forth for over a year I finally made the choice to put my kids into public school. This has not been an easy decision. I love having my kids around me all the time. I love their little fiery spirits and the way they have of making me laugh and smile even when I am having a rough moment. So if I love having them around so much why did I decide this? I am ready to just be the mom. The one who comforts and loves not the one who nags and gets frustrated. The man source of frustration in my house was always center around keeping the kids on task during "school" hours. Or the kids distracting one another when they should be working. I have cried more then once since I made this decision. Some how I feel slightly like I have failed them. I know that seems silly.

So what do they think about school? Emma loves it! She is so social and this is so great for her! The kids are nice to her, which I am grateful for. She told me that one little boy has a crush on her. I asked her how she could tell and she said this, "He stares at me all the time and when he talks to me he stutters" I asked if he normally stutters and she said no. She also informed me that she is not interested. I love my sweet Emma.

Joseph likes school as well. The first day he came home and was worried because he claimed they didn't do any school work. I asked him what they did do and he told me about snack time and recess. Since I have only had one child go to kindergarten I was unsure what to think. Upon more investigation they did do some coloring of letters with markers (he was excited about the markers because I have a ban on markers. One to many children have colored on walls with markers) He is used to doing much more for his school day. I think he is enjoying it though. He is not much of a talker when he is tired and I think school is taking a lot out of him.

Sarah is a different story. Sarah went to kindergarten in public school and it was a joke. She was reading at a 3rd grade level when she entered school and I think it was mostly a social event for her. But for the next 4 years she has been home. Sarah is like me and thrives on structure and is not so fond of change. She does not understand why I felt the need to put her in school. I told her I prayed about my choice and that I felt really good about it. That seemed to help her. But the night of the second day of school she came to my room late. She started to sob. She informed me that she misses Emma and she misses me. She has been my shadow ever since. Even when we are around other kids she wants to be right next to me. I did not expect this from her. She acts so mature all the time sometimes I forget she is only nine. She is still me sweet little Sarah who needs to be loved.

Funny story about Sarah's first day of school. She reads so much more then the normal 4th grader. She has been that way since she first started reading. So when she tells stories sometimes they sound like they came straight from a book. This is her story as best I can remember it. "Because I am the new girl all of the girls want to be my friend. They are encircled me and asked me to tones of questions. Then in comes another girl. She says 'excuse me' and the girls all part to let her through. Then she exclaims, 'You are going to want to be friends with me, I am very funny.' Then in my mind I nicknamed her the popular girl." I laugh good at this one. She has read enough stories about popular girls she was able to spot the social dynamic right away. I hope this will be in her favor as relationships develop with these girls. Sometimes girls can just be so mean and I am not looking forward to that part of public school.

I have decided to keep Jared at home for 2 reasons. 1. I didn't think that Jr High would be the best time to stick a kid back in to public school. Like dealing with hormones isn't enough then through in punk kids who feel the need to tear you down because they are not ok with who they are. He thinks it is great to be the only one home and to be able to get most of my attention. It is working out so far. 2. He is very self motivated and I don't have to nag him or be on him to get his school work done. Good grades mean a lot to him and all I have to threaten him with is a bad grade and he gets focused. I think that is typical oldest child behavior.

Joshua is now favoring me again which is so awesome. He has been daddys boy but now that I get to spend so much attention on him I am winning him over. Another plus to public school.

Jacob is 9 1/2 months. He still doesn't crawl but he does army crawl really fast. So fast that I have to really keep an eye on him. Every little thing goes in his mouth. We may have to ban legos next. The pieces are so small.
He started to clap about two weeks ago. I love that.
Oct 2 he pulled himself up to standing and just yesterday he was walking along the furniture. About a month ago I was in the kitchen and he army crawled his little self right up to me. So sweet that he wants to be near mommy. If only they always loved being near me.
He loves food so much. He now refuses baby food if any one else is eating. He wants what we have. If he thinks you have food he spits out his binky so that you can feed him.
Jacob has been jabbering much more. He says hi frequently and I am starting to think he actually knows what it mean.
He favors me above everyone else. If I am in the room he will cry for my to pick him up. If other people try to hold him he gets upset. Tyler babysat the other night and Jacob wanted nothing to do with him. Sarah ended up holding him most the night. I think she loved it.
He weighs 21 lbs. He gained so much weight so fast I thought he was going to be a tank but he has really started to thin out. I am sure it has to do with being so busy. He doesn't like to sit still anymore. I miss the sweet snuggly stage. AT church today he was just so busy. He was wriggling all over the place. My favorite was when he started to spit or razz. I put his binky in and he shock his whole body then spit it out. Funny kid
He also loves my hair and loves to put it in his mouth.
I love this little baby of mine!

Wow what a week.

My wonderful nephew got his mission call after waiting what felt like forever and he is going to South Dakota. Brr right? I'm sure he will do great and I am very excited for him. On Tuesday he went to the temple for the first time and we were so blessed to be there. It had been a little while since the last time we were able to enjoy the blessings of peace that come from being in the house of the Lord. I am already looking forward to the time we can go again. We made a quick trip up to Vegas. Up one day and back the next.

It was so good to see my family and I wish I got to see them more often. When we got home it was bedtime for the kids. We said prayers together then Joshua ran off because he didn't want to go to bed. Little did I know he would really get his wish. He jumped off the girls bunk bed into the cubby part that is under the bed. I didn't see it happened but I heard him cry. Ryan was right there and quickly took him to the kitchen. I was nursing the baby and I really didn't think it was that big of a deal. He didn't seem to be crying more then usual. Then I saw the blood and asked Ryan if he needed stitches not really thinking it was going to come to that. But his quick reply assured me otherwise.

After trying 2 different urgent cares we ended up at a very busy hospital. (Wouldn't you think a children's urgent care would do stitches?) After waiting about 4 hours they put us on a bed in the hall. Josh had fallen asleep by this time. I laid their with him and listened to all of the people and goings on around me. One lady had a horrible reaction to a spider bite then was having a reaction to the anti-venom. There was a man having heart problems. A women had sliced her arm so bad she was sobbing on and off (she looked pretty bad) and I had cause to reflect upon the last time we were in the same hospital when Joshua poked a pencil in his eye. I felt so blessed. 6 stitches seemed like such a minor thing. I knew my Josh would bounce right back as though nothing had happened. In fact he had a hard time understanding why he could not play outside the very next day.

My life is so very good. I allow the stresses to get to me sometimes but I do try to see how much I have been given and oft times I have no idea why I have been blessed beyond that which I deserve. Like today for example. I was called to serve as the new laurel adviser (teaching the 16-18 year old girls in my church.) I LOVE working with the youth. The are so amazing to me. They have to stand much stronger then I did. They are hit on all sides and are expected to be of the world. Words are escaping me but what I am trying to say is that I feel honored to serve these wonderfully amazing girls.

My SIL Lindsay is getting married and I have had a lot of fun helping her plan. I decided that when I grow up it would be so fun to be a wedding planner. I do understand that my "when I grow up" list is rather large. I got to take their engagement pictures and that was fun. I got to try some new styles I have been wanting to play with and they were so good to do whatever I asked. Plus I get to make the wedding cake and I have helped with the invites. Lots of fun. I hope by the time my kids get married I will be a pro. With a family this large having wedding skills is rather helpful. That is why I want to learn so much more!

Yesterday was the annual Church women's broadcast. It was so much of what I needed. I came away with an amazing sense of peace and calm. I can overcome my personal imperfections. I can be more then I have been. What impressed me the most was the feeling that I need to treat those around me with greater charity and love. And that as I focus on loving more fully and finding fault less frequently I will be filled with happiness I have never known. What an amazing feeling of hope and excitement.

Here is to an exciting and adventuresome week that I am sure will not disappoint.

Sweet Sweet Baby

I found this sweet picture of Emma tonight. This was 2 years ago when she had just started kindergarten. I can't believe how much she has grown. She is my silly, happy, loving, hugs and kisses, hurry and get it done so we can play Girl. She loves life and she helps me to remember to love with my heart and worry less.

Emmy or Emma or EmmaLee is so smart and her school work comes easily to her. She is becoming a really good reader and I love when she wants to read to me our to the boys. She loves Sarah to bits and is so sad when they fight. She wants to make every one happy and she loves when she can make you smile. Emma is a friend to any and everyone.

She has also discovered that she can sing and we all love Emma originals. She will be starting piano next week and I am excited to see her flourish.

Tomorrow I get to take her out on a date. It's been a long time since we have had some good one on one time and I will cherish it. I love you little girl!

Just in case anyone is interested

I thought I would share what kind of a crazy day I have had. Don't get me wrong I have lots of days that go smoothly. The kind of day where when you go to bed you feel like a great mom and you did everything right even if/when no one else does. Today was not one of those days.

I slept horrible because a.Ryan's out of town b.It was simply way to hot and I don't like the heat. I was woken up rather early and I think I woke up with a little devil on my shoulder. I was feeling a little cross to start. The kids decided to slowly work at getting ready for the day. We have a good schedule of jobs, shower, breakfast, scriptures and prayer, then school. We usually start school by 9. I was pushing my children to get stuff done when they normally are pretty self motivated. I hate nagging and this morning was full of it.

About 10 they finally have eaten and showered and are starting school. I'm starving and decide that I am going to treat myself to a Jamba Juice. Side note: I love their oatmeal. I just don't know how to make it that good. Ryan can but he is not here. I decide that Jared is 11 now and pretty responsible, lets see how he does watching the kids. I took the 3 little boys so it was just Emma and Sarah for him to watch. I was gone a very short time.

When I get home Jared and Emma were both in a frenzy. Jared said something mean, Emma cried and wanted to call me. He wouldn't let her so she decided to run away. He had to stop her and did it not in the nicest way. (I gave them strict rules to lock the door and not open it for any reason. So when I find out she ran down the street and around the corner I was a little frustrated.) He felt the need to put her in a head lock to get her home. Boy I wonder what the neighbors thought when they saw that one.

The two of them were at each others throats the entire day. A lot of teasing, pushing and crying. Then to top it off Jared and Emma both had challenging school days. Emma has not been finishing her math every day and she is now behind. Jared is frustrated with his new math program and was telling me how much he hates school. I have been contemplating what I can do different and right now I don't have the answer. I even called the school to see if they had space in the track that goes to school more often. No such luck.

The baby must have sensed the tension in the house because he needed to be held all day long and he is stopped up from something we feed him.

Joshua had around 10 accidents today. And of course one of the times it was on my brand new couch and not a small amount. By nap time I was ready to run away and I actually spent some time looking onexpedia to see if there were flights to... anywhere. I thought that when Ryan got back I would escape. That's not till Saturday and I probably won't do it but dreaming helped.

I had to get a baby sitter to take Joseph to his first day of music class which he refused to participate in. Got the kids feed and put to bed while Sarah finished up the dishes. As she was done a cup got stuck in the drain. My hand got cut up while I tried to get it out but eventually I did.

On my way to take something out to the garage I was treated by a big piece of poop laid next to some poopy pants. So before I could sit down I now had to scrub the sidewalk. Wow. That was fun. And of course Jacob would have a hard time sleeping tonight because that only seems fitting to my perfect day.

And for some reason when I write it all out it really doesn't seem so bad. I guess I was just making a mountain out of a mole hill as they say. A few good things did come out of the day. When I get really frustrated it helps me to calm down by creating something. So I painted flowers and shutters on the girls bed. Then I realized what a mess their closet was and cleaned out shoes and clothes they don't wear or are to small. Now I am blogging then I am going to go lay down and read. I have a bunch on my night stand but I kinda want to get a new action book not a thinking or emotional book. I think I will explore kindle then head to bed.

The pictures are from my phone so not the best but you get the idea.

The side of the bed.

I hope this will help some one who is normal, feel even more normal as they realize we all have days that feel crazy and where we wish we could have a do over or restart or rewind. Tomorrow, it will be the best day ever, right?

A little of this and a little of that.

Tonight we went to Sean and Allie's for a gender party. What is that? They are expecting a baby in Jan. They had their ultrasound today and told the dr to write down what gender the baby is then he sealed it in an envelope. They gave that to a friend and she baked a cake with the appropriate color on the inside. Such a cute idea. It was so fun watching Allie's face as she realized she would be having a girl. I am thrilled because little girl stuff is just so fun to buy and now that I am done I still get to love this sweet little baby.

On the way home Joshua was rather upset that we were leaving. He had calmed down and then stated, "I wish I could watch tv so I could be happy." We all cracked up. Silly boy.

Lindsay, Ryan's sister, is engaged and plans on getting married the Sat after Thanksgiving. I get to make the cake which I am rather excited about. After the last one I realized it really isn't that bad. And this time I plan on doing fake cakes. So if I mess up, no big deal! And I can make them way in advance. Sweet. She is also letting me help with the announcements and the idea she has is super awesome. I do love helping with wedding planning! So fun. By the time my girls get married I should be a pro!

Ryan took me to go see wicked. I loved it! It is the first time he has ever been to a musical that was not done locally and had a family member in it. A "Real" musical as the kids would say. I forgot how much fun musicals are. I have been listening to the music with the kids and we all bust out singing to our hearts content. I do love that the kids love to sing with me. Even Jared will sing away. My life really is great!

I am blogging! Why the sudden change? Because I have discovered Ryan's apple. My computer was on it's last leg and any thing I did took forever! I love technology, but not as much as you you see. I think I need to watch Napoleonic dynamite again. It's been awhile.

I have spent a lot of my free time reading lately and I forgot how much I love it. Before summer started I read an article that helped me to want to give up the tv. SO Ryan and I hardly ever watch tv. A little on the weekends. Its been refreshing. We talk more and read more. Tv just isn't as good as a good book. I finally finished the Harry Potter series. It only took me 9 years. And I am now reading My Three Cups of Tea, The Summer Kitchen, and The Shack. It takes me awhile to get into a book but once I do I don't want to put it down.

Enough randomness for one night.

Joseph enters kindergarten

Joseph started Kindergarten 2 weeks ago. He was so excited to get to do school like the other kids until time came to actually sit and do it. He is still trying to learn that he has to do work while Joshua has to play. With that said I am impressed with how fast he has learned his numbers and letters. He told me today that he read a word all by himself. He came up to me with a plastic spoon and showed me the letters. It had the letters 02m on it. He asked, "That kinda looks like it says awesome. Does that say awesome?" The 2 did look like an s.

Joseph only goes to school on Wednesdays and his first day was this week. I was so nervous for him a hardly slept the night before. He is so shy and sometimes he refuses to talk to adults. On the car ride to school he was kinda quiet and I wondered what he was thinking. But as we got out of the car the look on his face was like Christmas morning he was so thrilled. I showed him where to got and waited till it was time for him to follow his first teacher to class. As he walked away I called his name and waved. He smiled big, waved goodbye, then didn't look back. I cried a little then I was proud of him.

When he got home from school he told me all about it and he loved it! He even made a friend named Brandon who eat lunch with him. The next day he let me know that he does not like home school but likes going to school. I will see what I can do to make it more fun for him. Emma told me he even raised his hand and answered questions in class. My little sweetie is growing up.

His sweet serious face. He is thinker and very introspective.

And his smile always makes me smile.
Here he is in Zion going off the zip line. He was not afraid at all and wanted to go again.


The other day he brought these toys outside and started walking down the street. I asked where he was going and he informed me he was taking them to Sean's house so that he had something to play with.

Seriously, This kid is so good looking! How did I get blessed with such beautiful children?

Joshua is 3

Well back on June 12th he turned 3. We had a last minute impromptu birthday party for him. He woke up on his birthday and told me he wanted a party. I called the family who lived up the street and asked if they were available. I bought a pinata and made a quick train cake and he was set. The kids played together outside and junk and Joshua was on top of the world. He got a cool new bike and other toys I can't remember because the party was over 2 months ago. Point is that the party was no stress and he thought it was the best.

My little Joshua has a very strong personality and I don't think it helps that we laugh at him when he is naughty. He has taught us the lovely phrase punk face and other silly names like it. He is very vocal and lets you know when he doesn't like something. He is also very physical. Whenever we are out he feels the need to tap or poke people. I wonder what he is thinking? He bit an old guy in the butt at target. Luckily I stopped him just in time. Haha. I wonder what the old guy would have done.

Josh is 40 inches tall and weighs ? I'll have to weigh him in the morning.

Joshua is the life of the party and loves to laugh. He makes us all laugh often. If you laugh once he will do it over and over again to see if he can keep you laughing. He is so much trouble and yet I wouldn't trade him for the world!

This kid makes the best facial expressions. This is the I'm about to get into trouble face.

This is one of the rare moments when he just has a happy I'm-not-about-to-do-something smiles

I was trying to take a picture of all the kids and he insisted on being a tiger and crawling around. I made the mistake of laughing at him the first time he did it. BUt his face was really funny!
We is this picture just really so cute? I love it.