Happy Early Birthday Joseph.

Because life is just going to get busier and crazier over the next few weeks I decided to take Joseph to Disneyland today. This is the kids one day at school so it was just me and the two boys. Originally I was going to invite very one with me but it was a very spur of the moment decision. After the day was over I was glad it was just us because he had my full attention and had any one else been there I would have wanted to visit. It was a great day. When he woke up this morning I told him I had a secret for him. Then I asked him if he wanted to celebrate his birthday at Disneyland with just Joshua and I. He smiled his simple sweet smile And told me to tell Joshua the story. Once we got the kids off to school we got ready and were off.

I told him he was in charge and we would do whatever he wanted. Because we had never been to toon town we started there. We went on Roger Rabbit, he is not a fan. After spending maybe 20 minutes ther I remebered why we never come here. So off to fantasy land. He had a hard time deciding what to do first. First he wanted to go on the horse, then dumbo, then the shark(storybook ride) He settled on the storybook ride but right as we were about to get on he sees the Casey Jr and wants to forget the boat and run over there. It some convincing but we did ride the boat first. Then Dumbo, train, Pinocchio, and the carousel. He does not like Pinocchio. I wanted him to see the Bear in the Big Blue house. While the boys ate their lunchables I walked over that way. Side note for anyone with children under the age of ten going to disneyland..... bring your own snacks. But here is the trick I have found that has saved me money, time, and fighting children... Put each childs snacks in a freezer storage bag with there name on it. That way it is always "fair" and you when you are standing in lines they can grab there bag and munch away. Well feed children are happy children.

When we walked into California High school Musical 2 was being presented so we watched that. Joseph is very outgoing in his own home when no one is watching. yes I understand that doesn't make sense. He wanted to get out there and dance he is just so shy. All day if anyone would ask him to say something he would wait until he was sure no one was listening and then he would mumble it under his breath. Like in the jedi training when they were asking the kids to shout something he would wait and then look at me and in a hardly audible whisper would say it. What a cute kid. He is going to be the guy in high school that all the girls like but he won't have the nerve to ask anyone out.

We got there early and so headed over to bugs world. Rode the catapillar and the ladybugs. I personally found the ladybug ride to be my favorite of the day simply because the boys both laughed hysterically while it would spin. Both boys liked the bear show. I think Joshua liked it best because he was finally able to get out of the stroller and get all of his wiggles out. There is not much for little ones in California so back to Disneyland for us. From this point on Joseph talked about winnie the pooh for the rest of the day. It was like he wasn't sure if he wanted to go but he thought he probably did. He kept reminding me that it has a scary part in it. If anyone knows what he is talking about please let me know because I don't recall a scary part.

We walked through Tarzans tree house then went on Pirates. He wanted to go on pirates. He says he likes it because the pirates are silly. He closes his eyes and holds his hands over his ears for one part but I think for the most of it he seems to enjoy. During the ride Joshua's head kept falling forward like an old man falling asleep (I think you know who you are) I then picked him up and he stayed asleep through the band. I was surprised Joseph let me listen. He seemed to get into... well as much as his shy self could. and he stayed asleep through the haunted mansion, Joseph does not like this ride either.

As we start to get in line for winnie the boy he decides that yes, it will be to scary and not worth his time. After caring a sleeping heavy baby I am starting to feel ready to go but I don't want to push him, it is his day. (another side note... Every once in awhile he would remind me in a very nice soft voice that he was in charge. I think that was a big deal for him because he is child #4 and he probably doesn't really get to be in charge very often.) I asked him if he wanted to go on the train and then go home or more rides and he was quick to say go home.

We had such a full day. Got there about 10:30 and left about 6:30. No melt downs and no lines. Our longest wait was for the storybook ride. Maybe 10 min. This is the best time of year to go.

I really do love people watching so it was nice to push the stroller and just watch the relationship dynamics of people. I think my favorite of the day was this guy about my age. We were in line to watch The Bear show. He, his wife, and two children felt like the needed really good seats I think. They were standing in the line blocking anyone from going past. If you have not been to the show before they have you stand in a line that is rather wide and I think you are meant to squish in so that people can sit on the beanchs lingin the front part of the line. Then the doors open and you find a spot on the ground to sit and watch the show. It was a mellow day and not a ton of people in line. He was about 4-5 people ahead of us but the way the line was he was right next to us. This lady comes up and trys to get past him and he just stares at her. She is so mad and says, "I'm trying to get my son!" Him,"There is a line here." Her, "my son!" He points to this spot in line where she could have reached over peoples heads to maybe possibly get her run away child. He does finally let her by and she was flaming mad. Ok? I am trying to hold back my laughter when up walks this pregnant lady. Yeah right she was getting through. So I have to watch to see what he is going to do now. Again he stares then tells her, "Theres a line here" She looked like she was going to have her baby any minute. She says, "I just wanted to sit down." Yeah he just stares at her. I felt bad for the guy. I wondered what happened to him as a child that made him feel as though he needed to be the line enforcer. We end up sitting next to him during the show and he was laughing and singing along. I guys being in lines just brings out the worst in him. He stood there like a drill Sargent. Good stuff these people offer me.

The other thing I loved about the day was all the good parenting advice I got. (Sarcasm here) I think people just assumed I was a new mom with my two little boys. Usually I would just smile but with one lady I couldn't help myself. I had to play with her a little. She was telling me how she remembered when her 2 kids were little like mine and she remembers taking them to disneyland by herself and then always wondering why she did that. I just said back, "I have 5 children and with my 1st two I might have stressed out like that but with them, (implying the boys,) I just really enjoy them and we have a lot of fun." She then goes on to tell me, "My neighbor had 5 kids and she would ask me, 'do you always feel crazy?' and I would have to tell her no she fells that way because she had 5 children." Did the lady not her what I said a second ago- that I enjoy my children. I respond,"I guess haveing 5 children isn't for everyone." I said something about handling myself well with 5. She then tells me, "When they grow up it will be nice. My husband is the oldest of 5 kids and his mom always has someone to help her." Me," My husband is the oldest of 13 and it is great having such a big family." I did have a little bit of an arrogant tone at this point because I was just annoyed. It is always funny to me that people think the life they have chosen for themselves is what everyone else should do. I love my life, it works for me. But I don't think it would work for everyone and I ma not about to be judgmental on someone for only having two kids so I guess that is why I let it bug me sometimes. Wow that was a long tangent. Sorry about that.

I will add pictures tomorrow. I need to down load them.

This man will missed!

I need to start my post by stating my mixed emotions that were brought about by our dear sweet prophet. He is the prophet I most remember and thus most related to. When I really gained a testimony of this church I was a freshman in college. I had belonged to church and gone almost every Sunday since I can remember but it was not until this time that I developed a true love for the gospel. Shortly after this my sister, mom and I went to womens conference. That year Pres. Hinckley was there. The moment he walked in tears filled my eyes and my heart began to pound. There was no doubting that he was a prophet of God. For me he symbolizes my beginning into what has become the most wonderful relationships in my life. Because I found my Savior and really allowed him to change my heart I was able to met my husband and be ready for him. Because of forgiveness I was blessed with a temple marriage and then 5 beautiful children, whom I feel like I mess up all the time on but again the joy comes from taking the sacrament and starting each week perfectly. So to realize that we will not get to hear his loving, tender voice again I felt sadness. But to be honset with you my first thought were of joy. He now gets to be with his wonderfully inspiring wife. I have looked up to his wife more then any women on this earth. She is who I want to be when I grow up. You could see it in his face that when she died it took a piece of him. So for them to be reunited, what an awesome event his death is for them. This man did so much for the church. He will be missed.

Yeah for change and new beginnings

Really one would think that moving over ten times in our ten years of marriage I should be used to it, right? I think this time I am being way to relaxed and refusing to stress out. Simple as that. Talk to me in a few weeks and see how I feel then. But for now I am just excited. This picture is taken from the bottom of the lot. Of to the right of the picture is the fire pit. You can't tell but there are dirt trails winding all up and down the lot. Look out snakes here we come!
Jetted tub here I come. I have missed my tub we had in St George.

The kitchen even has a desk off to the right with a filing system. I am excited that my SIL Sarah will help me organize my house so that I can be super efficient.

We are not homeless!

We thought we had found a house but it did not work out. So for the past few days I have been trying to mad dash find a house so that we could move before Josephs birthday and before France. I was trying very hard to stay in the ward but every house I looked at just didn't feel right. It was very frustrating for me. I was so ready to simply move and be done with it. It is interesting to note that my plans and Gods plans do not always coincide. After feeling like giving up and want to crawl in a corner and suck my thumb, (not really that was for You Ryan) But I was very upset that I could not find anything. I felt inspired that we needed to move, I knew something would eventually happen. Lucky for us I found it tonight. It is in an area I would not at first have thought to look. I think after all of my previous looking I realized what a great deal this house is. We will be paying about the same we are now but we will be living on 1 acre. It is wild terrain but I know the kids will love it. Lots of hiding places and it even has a fire pit. It does not really have a backyard spot that the baby can play in without major supervision but the older kids will have so much fun. And inside the house it has all kinds of little hiding spots as well. Big bonus for me, I love the kitchen!!!. Adorable and very functional. It has the 4 bedrooms plus the office. I thought I was going to have to give a bedroom so this is great.

While the girls went to dance the rest of us went and took a look. Jared fell in love with it instantly! He just kept saying over and over, "It just feels right mom, don't you think so?" I really do put a lot of stock in this kids ability to be inspired. He seems to be so close to the spirit. I had felt like it was right and when he said that it sealed the deal for me. It does have draw backs but the good seem to out weigh them by far. The driveway is very steep but the plus of that is that the house is on a hill and we have amazing views. I hate the unknown and I am thrilled to have a plan and be moving forward.

A little cute kiddie side note, Tonight after dinner I was sitting at the table and Joseph climbed into my lap and told me he was going to sleep. He pretended to be asleep and it felt so nice to snuggle with him. I was overcome with how much love I have for this little person. Things can get so busy around my house with homeschooling that sometimes I feel like he doesn't get enough attention. So as i carried him to be while he "slept" I just let him know how grateful I am that he choose to come to our family. How blessed I am to have each of these little people/friends to be in my home to teach me and help me to be all that God wants of me. I am amazed at the joy I feel from being loved by 6 wonderful people who I get to wake up to every day. A husband who adores me and would stop the world for me, My oldest who is so caring and concerned for my well being, My oldest girl who teaches me to be confident in who I am, My little mommy who loves to care for people and help them feel loved, My little boy who makes us all laugh even when he doesn't mean to, and my little buddy who teaches me to stop and enjoy the every day moments. I do love being me and wouldn't trade my life for anything. Yes we have trials but I know my trials and I have seen what we have learned from them and I wouldn't ask to have any of them taken from me. When these trials pass new ones will come with new lessons to learn. I guess the key for me is to recognize the growth while in the midst of the trial not way after the fact. If I can do this I would imagine that my growth would be expedited.

Wow

Before my really long post I thought I would share a few pics from our Disneyland trip. It was the best day. Not to crowded and the kids stayed happy all day.

Jared took this picture. My kids have seen how much I love trying to get a good shoot so they are always asking to take pictures. He got down on the ground to get "the right shoot". I love this kid.

This huge flock of birds came while we were waiting for the train. The boys were very intrigued.

What is that? Joshua has recently learned how to throw. This is his lunch stuck to the fridge. I don't think I could do that if I tried.

This was him laughing about it. He laughs very easily and we all appreciate it.

I got Emma reading to Joshua. Tender moments.

These trees are just a little craft i did over the holidays. No real reason other then I saw my friend Shannon had made one and I wanted to try. I thought they turned out cute.


I have been meaning to post on the craziness that makes up my life but I have been to busy to sit down and be able to do it. Let's go back to a couple of weeks ago. I woke up on Friday and decided that it was my last chance to go visit my sister before school started so we mad dashed and did our jobs. (Side note... Thank you to all my blogger friends who have music on your blog. When I sit down to blog I open a new window with someones blog and listen while I type) And off we were for a quick road trip. We played at my sisters were Joshua to a great liking to my nephew Brady age 18. Then we took my sister with us and went up to St George to visit one of my dearest friends in the whole world Demeree. I know a lot of people who don't know her have been gossiping a lot about her. I wish they could see the wonderful person she really is. She has been through so much and has such amazing faith. Any day when I am down I can talk with her or my sister and feel better. I am so lucky to have such great people in my life. I had planed to visit with my old neighbor Ricki (she was my visiting teacher and became a great friend, (we miss you guys too) but Joshua woke up in the middle of the night with a very scary crouping cough. I was so worried about him. So, needless to say when we got home Saturday night we had him sleep in our room. I did not sleep well. Every time he broke out into a coughing fit I would wake up and wait for it to subside just to make sure he was breathing OK.

Then in the middle of the night I hear Jared yelling for me. He threw up all over his bed. This is the child who can not throw up any where but all over himself. He just has never been able to make it to the bathroom. When he was younger I would give him a bowl and he would still manage to make a mess. It used be frustrating but now I just expect it so it is not a big deal.

The next day Ryan took the kids to church while I stayed with Jared and Joshua. I was so tired from staying up and the long drive the night before that I took a nap while Joshua slept. When I woke up I called Ryan to see how church went when Jared comes into my room, with tweezers in hand, all panicked. I was really worried by the tone in his voice until he told me what had happened. He stuck a dime up his nose. It was so far I could not see it. I was not worried about him, I felt like it was going to be fine but I really did not want to pay the ER any more of my money. We searched for a flash light and the only one I could find was Joshua's cow light he got for Christmas ( note to self, buy flash lights) And yep, I could just barely see it, but it was there. I really had to control myself to not just laugh out loud, I mean really loud. He was so worried I didn't want to take away from that. I had him cover up the other nostril and blow and blow and blow. The dime did come down some, I thought I could grab it but as soon as I put the tweezers up there it would go back. Soooo, my son blew snoot on me while I grabbed it out. At this point I could not hold it in any longer, I cracked up. He did to. After he realized he was fine he was able to see the humor in the situation. He said his hand slipped and that is how it got up there. What I was wondering but did not ask, What was he doing with it in the first place?? Nine is turning into an interesting age. Ryan informed me that we would have a pre-teen in a few months. Sighhhhh. Time really does go way to fast. My sweet little baby boy is growing up.

And as if writing that did not exhaust me I will with sign say that we are moving, again. I am beginning to wonder if I just prefer to always be in chaos? We are only moving about 10 miles. Not far. Right now we are renting from my SIL Sarah. They plan on trying to sell it soon and I thought it would be so much easier for them if we were out of the house. Plus I want to have another baby at some point and I thought I would much rather move without being pregnant. On that note I am really excited to have another baby. I have been thinking about it for awhile. It has been on my mind since the week I had Joshua. It is as though this little spirit does not want to be forgotten and so needs to remind me often that he/she is coming. Several months back I felt the gentle reminding that our family is not complete. I wasn't sure if I was ready yet and decided to pray about it. For the first time my answer was to wait. Usually when I get that someone is missing feeling it is the right time. Shortly after this I got really sick and was not functioning very well. It was so much worse then normal. I had migraines and I felt like I was going to throw up when I moved. But this got to me to a new DR which has helped a ton. I am finally taking stuff that helps. I am doing so much better now. Even with the holidays and all the bad stuff I had eaten, the stuff that usually make me sick. Since I kept not getting sick I kept eating it (7 lbs is proof of that) Then when the holidays were over It made me sick again, The normal stuff though and I know how to fight that, don't eat those foods.

My friend Shannon is about to have a baby. I keep looking at her blog to see if today was the day. It makes me desire pregnancy and the feeling of closeness that comes from little flutters and the first time you see there little heart beat. Then when you realize the sex and you really bond because then you can plan for there future. I know it is pathetic but I already have names picked out, Not even pregnant or trying and I have names. Samuel Jacob and Hannah Grace. We love the name Jacob but with so many J's I thought it would be best. Before we ever had children I always thought our last would be a girl and we would name her Hannah. Who knows if that is right or not. It seems like I am usually wrong. Ryan thinks we will have a boy. Either way we are set. If it is a girl she will have older sisters to dress her up and do her hair, teach her about how to act with boys and what to do when girlfriends are so mean. Sisters are the best and I know that relationship would be so cherished. Joseph said he wants a little sister. If we were to have a boy Joseph and Joshua will have a little buddy to get into trouble with (Joseph calls Josh buddy) Jared is the best big brother I can only imagine how much he will be able to teach these boys. As they each progressively go on missions they will be there to rote each other on. Really I can't lose.

My life is so great. Even with all that is going on. For scouts there are two of us as den leaders. We had a planning meeting. We looked at Feb and I realized how busy the next month will be. I am going to Time out for Women on the 2nd, the next weekend we move, the next weekend is Josephs B-day then I leave for France. She said she would be in charge in Feb and then I could take Mar. I said, "Yeah things should calm down by then." After she left I thought about that and laughed. Do things ever really settle down when you have five kids and you home school? And then I want to get pregnant and with that comes sickness for 2 months. It is not my season for calmness. I bet when it does come I will be so sad to not have the hussle and bussle of little kids underneath me needing me.

One last little note. I love American Idol. I don't have cable but found this site
I can watch the best and the worst with no commercials and when I want to. Love it! Go Brooke White. You think she could be Mormon? I love her voice.

How excited am I

We had family pictures taken with Ryan's whole family. Here are a few of my favorites. There are 39 of us in all. Can you imagine what it will be like in ten years??? I love it. I feel so blessed to be a part of this wonderful family.These are my three favorite of us. Any opinions?

Monday night funness

Joshua has decided this week that he wants to talk. He will mimick what we say when he decides it is a good idea, always it has to be his idea. The words he says are...
Mama, papa, NO, yeah, ouwe, ohhh, did it, look it. He now says the letters of the alphabet. We have a letter factory toy that sings the alphabet. He knows b and d and a and c. Two days ago he came running up to me with a book in hand and said,"Look it." It was so clear I did a double take. Then yesterday he proclaimed, "Did it!" He went from grunting to short phrases. Funny guy.

He can book it rather fast down the stairs now. So cute to watch.

Just some fun pictures I took outside the temple. I do love taking pictures.

BLURB

My SIL Allie told me about Blurb.com. I am so super excited. They will take your blog and turn it into a book for you. With over 200 posts it is going to take me awhile to get it all imported the way I want. But I love the idea of having a hard bound copy. On the site they have an easy tutorial that shows you how to use it and it really is very simple. The book can hold up to 440 pages. I am going to put the last two years into one book and then each year after print one book. I love that my children will have them to look through. Better then scrap booking I think!

My new years resolutions.

For the past couple of years I have sat down and written over 100 goals I would like to accomplish. I looked back at these and realized that I had accomplished about umm 7. Yeah only 7. But instead of being discouraged I felt so excited. Had I only written 7 goals I would be amazed if only 1 was accomplished. Some of the goals are on going and will take years. Some I accomplished with little effort. This coming year I have decided to focus all my energy on two things

1. To have a home of greater peace and harmony
2. To be healthy and to help my family to be healthy.

To accomplish these goals I am going to:

1 Get up with my kids
2. Exercise 3-4 days a week
3. Figure out what exercise works best for me. Running seems to hurt my back but I love it. Not sure what I should do yet, any suggestions?
4. Read, no study, my scriptures first thing in the morning that I may start my day with the right perspective.
5. Continue to read scriptures with the kids before school starts. Even if we wake up late.
6.Help them to say their prayers every night before bed.
7.Have a meaningful conversation with God very day. Not just pray but ponder and listen.
8.Watch my tone of voice. Sometimes I sound so mean, I don't yell to much but my tone is not always very nice.
9.Plan my menus so that we always have good food in the house so that we don't resort to eating fast food that we all hate.
10.Write in my journal daily- things that I am grateful for and that I am learning from the joy of motherhood.
11.Have school work all organized at the beginning of each 5 week period.
12.Have good music playing often in the home.
13.Take individual time for each of my children.
14.Greet Ryan with a kiss and hug every time he comes out of his office (for lunch and for the day) and kiss him when he starts work.
15.Take time to play more often with the kids.
16. Have 5-8 servings of vegetables a day and find a greater variety of vegetables my children like.
17.Learn to love and appreciate every day as a gift from God.

I am so excited for this new year. I feel like this is the year to get things accomplished. Last year was a year of learning and growing from trials. Learning I don't have absolute control but Heavenly Father does. I feel I learned greater trust in Him and that I can live with greater peace knowing I won't be perfect in this life. No matter how hard I try I will still be imperfect when I die. This causes me to come to my Father and rely on my Savior for forgiveness and understanding.

When we took family pictures the other day I looked over at my SIL Sarah. She was smiling and seemed at such ease. I felt tense because my children wanted to be children and play in the sand while I wanted them to be perfectly behaved and stand by my side waiting for our turn to take pictures. I asked Sarah, "He do you always stay so calm?" She never seems to loser her cool and I love this about her so much. I am sure she has her moments but most of the time she is calm and collective. What she said to me has been running through my mind ever since, "I don't expect perfection." This may seem so simple to some of you but to me this was profound! I am a perfectionist by nature. I want everything I do to be "just so" and I get frustrated when things don't turn out the way I think they should. But to understand this principle and really apply it I will relive so much stress. My anxiety will be relieved. I am so grateful for good women in my life. I feel like Sarah is meant to teach me that my best is good enough.

This is my year to write my book.
To learn to more fully love me and in so doing love others more fully.
To learn the balance of helping others without taking their problems.
To see more fully my potential and try a little harder to reach and recognize my progress instead of being discouraged I haven't come farther.

This is my year! I have always looked forward to turning 30. I feel like 30 is the year I will always look back at with peace and joy. The year I figured it out.

I understand that I am ambitious but I am hoping that through my ambition, even though I may not accomplish all I desire, I will accomplish something and something is more then I would accomplish with no ambition. Ya, I am so profound. (Insert sarcasm right here.)